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I bring you

Original Message -----
From: <danjonasavimbi@tiscali.it>
Sent: Monday, August 30, 2004 3:51 AM
Subject: {SPAM?} REPLY TO ME

Urgent kindest Attention:

Dear Sir/Ma,

Firstly let me introduce my self. I am Dr daniel jonas Savimbi, first son
of the late leader of the National Union of total Liberation of Angola
who died on the February 22 2002 by the bullet of the ruling government
troop.I got your contact in my search for a trustworthy foreigner that will
assist me with my present predicament, as I don't even know whom to trust
so I allowed the spirit of God to lead me.

My late Father was controlling the northern part of Angola as a rebel leader
which is blessed with a huge deposit of diamonds that my late father used
to his advantage, mining and selling these diamond to foreign individuals
and government in return for huge amount of US Dollars and ammunitions,
that is part of the reasons couple with determination why he was able to
sustain his troop for 30 years of civil war before his untimely death.see
some of these reports in this website

He left a huge amount of money which amount to US$18.5m (United state
he kept the money under my care in case of eventuality so that the future
of me and our children will be secure.This parted-money was deposited in
my name with a foreign Bank in europe but other accounts in his name were
confiscated by the present dispensation.

To cut a long story short,when we heard the bad news of his death, his
aid moved me and my family and we fled by the use of fishing boat to Port
Lois Mauritius a small island from where I am making this contact. The money
has been Coded and secretly deposited in a Finance Security Company and
declared as "FAMILY TREASURE" for onward courier to reliable foreigner in
an advanced economy like your country for safe keep.

I am offering you 20% of the total money if you will assist me to move this
money out of the security company in europe as the foreign beneficiary and
provide a safe account, while I and my family will have 80%. I am assuring
you that this transaction is risk-free as we have put all the logistics
in place to make it successful all we need from you is your assistance,
co-operation and sincerity of purpose. And after the transaction, myself
and my family will come over for the sharing and thereby invest and stay
in your country or as the case may be. I will also need your advice on the
area of investment as soon as transfer is made.

Please reply to my private email-address danjonasavimbi@worldemail.com
for more details on how you are going to assist us conclude this

I will wait for your response, thank you and God bless.

Kindest regards,

Dr.Daniel Jonas Savimbi

Trust me, it's quite priceless.
It's pure gold.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 31st, 2004 05:04 am (UTC)
Right.. So how did he come about an italian ISP? I wanna reply just to see how well the next one goes :D
Aug. 31st, 2004 02:49 pm (UTC)
Maybe it's courtesy of another trustworthy foreigner God led him to...
Aug. 31st, 2004 05:14 am (UTC)

Even I know it was UNITA. You'd think the spammer would do a bit of research.
Aug. 31st, 2004 06:03 am (UTC)

find the one about Mr Acksi Dent of arseholes icecreams.

Aug. 31st, 2004 06:24 am (UTC)
For Muslims Only
Here's my favourite recent one. Don't know why this guy thought I might be Islamic, but the depth of detail is great. I want to look this guy up if I make it to Cuba.

In the name of Allah the Beneficent; the Merciful,the Master of the day of Judgement , I greet you in the name of Allah. I am formally Miguel Marcos Llera from Cuba.I was born into a strong and devoted catholic family.All through my life i have been doing business and i was into gold mining and selling. I met our creator and the meciful one Almigthy Allah when i was having a business deal with one of my partners from U.A.E and from the day i was given the Islamic bath my name changed to Al Ahli Usman. On 10th Feburary 2004 myself and my family and my business partner took a flight from kish to sharjah and we flew kish airline.We had a plane crash and all members of my family including my very good friend lost thier lives.I give thanks to Allah that i am one of the lucky ones that survived the crash.The airline was under the management of one Mr Shabab Attarzadeh who was later sacked after this incidence.I had to return to my home town in cuba and i am now left with my relatives to take care of me. Owing to the fact that i was born into a catholic home and my family members know that i am now a devoted moslem,they have neglected me and left me to suffer pain.I know i am not going to survive this whole pain anymore.what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness and now that i have developed paralyses from my waist region downward i am taking this bold step to let you know that i want to leave in your care the sum of $12.8million dollars i deposited in a security company for the enhancement and propagation of the word of Almigthy Allah. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a mosque,or an islamic organisation or better still a moslem that will utilize this funds the way I am going to instruct here in.

Part 2 in next response
Aug. 31st, 2004 06:24 am (UTC)
Re: For Muslims Only Part 2
My main aim of doing this is for the propagation and upholding of the message of Islam.My target area is the youth whom the future of any great country largely lies on.In the western world,you find out that the message of Allah has not yet really gotten there.The message of Islam must not only be preached and upheld,but also our youths have to be called back to the right path and thereby reawaken their consciousness. I want you also to use this funds for the poor and the needy.Build old peoples home and orphanages.For the fact that my relatives are not ready to comply with me and they claim christanity is the way i am now resting my dream in life on your shoulders.Even as you agree to help me carry out this duty i want you always remember that: 1. Allah won't ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation. 2.Allah won't ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character or morals to obtain that salary. 3.Allah won't ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your home. 4.Allah won't ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy. 5.Allah won't ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed. 6.Allah won't ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life. 7.Allah won't ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones. 8.Allah won't ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others. 9.Allah won't ask what your job title was, but will ask if you did your job to the best of your ability. 10.Allah won't ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to helpothers. 11.Allah won't ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend. 12.Allah won't ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you didto protect the rights of others. 13.Allah won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbors. 14.Allah won't ask about the color of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character. 15.Allah won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn't. For the now i dont want any calls from you because of the presence of my relatives that are always around me and i dont want them to know my palns.Do get back at me to my private mail address allusman@excite.com Hoping to hear from you soonest and do notify your interest to help me to propagate islam. All praise is due to Allah Who brought everything into existence and may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon our noble Prophet Mohammed and those who follow his footsteps till the day of Judgement. May Allah bless you as you respond to my plea.

Al Ahli Usman.
Aug. 31st, 2004 06:25 am (UTC)
I haven't had one of these for a while - but I get tons of spam. I even got a begging letter last week -
Dear friend
How are you doing today hope your are fine.As for
me i'm fine too,but great things are missing in my life.I'm
a poor orphan,i lost my father in a car accident on his way
ffom work 3years ago,precisely januar 16th 2001.He was a
taxi driver and a loving,caring farther too.During his death
my mother took the whole responisibilities of the family
upon herself with the little sales from her petty trade.With
the sales she made, she manage to put me throughmy secondary
school education.
Untill one faithfull day as i returned from school
i found her lying on the floor terribly sick,i asked her
what was happening,she couldn't speak so i managed to take
her to a nearby hospital.On getting there the doctor
diagnosed her,with a report that she had developed a heart
problem as a result of too much thinking and stress.Because
there was no money to take care of her she died.And now am
left in the whole wide world with my kid sister.Even now my
ambition to become a medical doctor has been obstructed and
destabalized.At this point i wish to humbly and sincerely
ask for your kind and possible assistance in any way to
enable me take care of my little sister and further my
education.I pray that God will giude and bless you as u read
this mail,Amen.looking forward to hear from you sonnest
Thanks and God bless

Aw. How very sad.
Aug. 31st, 2004 06:42 am (UTC)
“she had developed a heart problem as a result of too much thinking”

Aug. 31st, 2004 06:49 am (UTC)
Aww damn, that was in my mouse to paste! *grin*


"Even now my ambition to become a medical doctor has been obstructed and destabalized."

But possibly not as much from that as from the extremely poor grasp of English..?
Sep. 1st, 2004 02:38 am (UTC)
let it be a warning to us all
that's just too funny
Aug. 31st, 2004 09:11 am (UTC)
"During his death my mother took the whole responisibilities of the family"

so his *actually* dying was quite lengthly?....hell of a car crash.
Aug. 31st, 2004 10:36 am (UTC)
I can't believe people fall for that.

I once came across a website where this guy had detailed his responses to one of the Nigerian spammers. He said, sure, he was interested in the great opportunity they described, and asked for details about how he could get involved.

He was stringing them along. He'd send them these e-mails full of religious nonsense and non sequiturs, and get back earnest e-mails in return. It went on for months.

Sep. 1st, 2004 01:59 am (UTC)
lol that is classic, very right. how come i never get e-mails likethis - mine all consist of - if you do not send thisto 357 other people you will have bad luck for the rest ofyour life or, if you send this to 24 people something magical will happen to your screen - i want fun e-mails *pouts*

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )


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