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Enquiring minds want to know

I have been offline for what seems like forever due to Dead Router Trauma (a dark, dark time) but now things are restored so I can go back to gorging myself on the internet and writing up all the things my son comes out with.

Here are the list of questions Matei has woken us up with in the last week*.

"Why can't cats climb on glass?"
"If I have a bad dream, can I die in my sleep?"
"Is God dead?"
"Is Jesus dead?"
"Were the people who killed Jesus evil?"

How is Babby Formed

And when he is not pondering the ethics of Ancient Romans, he is quite keen on concept of creation.

Not long ago I was chasing my children around the house with a rhetorical cry of "Why are you so adorable?" which Matei took very seriously indeed.
"Because I was born that way," he said, then added after a thoughtful pause "and because that is how Jesus created me."
"Oh yes? Was Jesus pregnant?"
"Oh yes," Matei nodded. "For many, many years."

On a positive note I think it will be years before we need to have birds and bees conversations, lest we be accused of heresy.

How is Jesus formed

Matei has been really absorbing religion lately, and is quite confused by it. When he's not walking around the house tunelessly singing songs he picked up in his CofE school "My God is mighty, there is nothing He cannot do..." then he is grilling Z and me on the workings of Christian theology which I struggle to answer in a generalised and age-appropriate way while Z tries to keep a straight face.

"What does God do? Why does God keep letting sad things happen to me and not fixing them?"
"Well, God doesn't interfere in people's lives, but for lots of people when they are sad they are comforted by the thinking about God, or feeling God's presence."
"What does God's presence feel like?"
"Sometimes you might feel a great warmth and wellbeing inside you. That can be like the feeling of God."

This has temporarily satisfied my literal-minded son, although it has also meant that whenever he feels the slightest bit of heat he announces himself in communion with the Creator. I dread to think of the stuff he probably comes out with in school, although if he's talking about Jesus then it hopefully means he is not pursuing another favourite topic of enquiry which is Why Doesn't Mommy Have A Penis.

*This is a change from the usual two questions he wakes us up with, namely "Can I watch cartoons?" and "Can I eat candy", which my autopilot could authoratatively respond to ("No") even if I was in a coma.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 8th, 2012 02:19 pm (UTC)
Matei is more respectful of religion than Josef, I think, who has declared God to be dead. This pleases his father mightily, I have to say.
I don't think Joey will be a theology expert: asked about Hindus he tells me "they only have one god, mum, not like the christians who have loads... one of the christian ones is a girl. I think she was gods mum before he died".
Joey is fine with my lack of a penis, if somewhat contemptuous, but Aleks has reached the age where he finds it hilarious. It's quote disconcerting to shower watched closely by a small boy who laughs to the point of falling over whenever his stare strays in the direction of your groin.
May. 8th, 2012 02:56 pm (UTC)
Hahahha, that's great.
matei went through a phase of being very worried about me and asking me with great compassion about the accident I had been in which has caused me to have my penis cut off.

On the other hand, Helena finds the fact that Matei has a penis utterly hilarious. I keep catching her in the bathroom with him, watching him pee and laughin her head off.
May. 10th, 2012 03:28 pm (UTC)
He's asked a question that has vexed all faiths since man was thrown out of the Garden of Eden (when I was his age, upon hearing that story, my question was "If we were kicked out, how come we can't ever find it again?"). I think you did as well as anyone, and entire books have been written on that question.

Matei is one of those dream students, obviously intelligent way beyond his tender years (get thee to gifted and talented classes), but the downside is getting stumped by tough questions by a first-grader. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for parent-teacher conferences.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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