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WTF, the almost four year old version

Things which my son does not find frightening:

Climbing on high things.
Trying to leap from high things.
Befriending every stray dog and feral cat.
Diving into freezing water.
Swimming without any kind of floatation aid.

Things which terrify my four year old:

Wolves. Particular hypothetical wolves, with mystical ability to leap through walls.
Closed doors.
Any personal injury, no matter how small.
And his curtains. The very same curtains, that I incidentally lovingly sewed for him from this fabric not realising that they would be the MOST FRIGHTENING THING EVER. Because they have pictures of goats on them. And when the wind blows (get this) THE GOATS MOVE.

Trying to think about this literally gives me a headache and the most tact I am able to exercise is to say nothing lest I just shriek "Seriously? SERIOUSLY? THIS is what you are waking me up at 3am to complain about? JUST GO TO BED AND CLOSE YOUR EYES YOU NINNY because your ancestors faced persecution, war, destitution, famine and concentration camps you can learn to live with a F*&%$"# curtain."

I don't even know anymore. The curtain is coming down tonight to be replaced by a plain one with no kind of image on it at all and I wait to see what kind of madness I am going to need to learn to live with next. I try to remain lighthearted but sometimes (as in last night, at 3am) my sense of humour utterly fails me.

Sleep wars are still ongoing but have reached an acceptable compromise. Matei is no longer allowed in our bed, but if he feels so terrified that he cannot sleep in his room then he may sleep in a sleeping bag on our floor.



( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 11th, 2011 03:29 pm (UTC)
Oh man. I feel for you, and in retrospect I feel for my parents, because as a child I was very similar - absolutely no sense of physical fear at all (happy to climb high things, leap from high things, leap over things, plunge into deep water etc.), but terrified by a whole load of completely random things - including wolves (the story of the three little kids shared the living shiznit out of me), and, awkwardly, the moon. I couldn't sleep in a room with curtains that let in any tiny scrap of moonlight as a child, though perhaps strangely I now actively prefer to sleep with my windows open.
Oct. 12th, 2011 09:14 am (UTC)
This is immensely comforting actually, because you are SO LOVELY that if that is the end product of random childhood anxieties, then I can totally live with it.
Oct. 11th, 2011 04:42 pm (UTC)
FWIW, I think it's perfectly valid to have a sense of humour FAIL. I thought shouting incoherently at one's children about going the hell back to bed at 3am was normal? And indeed was the only way children ever learn that Waking Mummy Up At 3am Is Not A Good Idea?


I've been known to chase Anton around the house with a squirty gun and a face on me like the grim reaper at 3am, when he decides to sing songs. Yet somehow he still loves me. Maybe it's different with cats. :\
Oct. 12th, 2011 09:14 am (UTC)
I am SO tempted, but I sadly believe the Spray Bottle Of Reprimand is frowned upon in parenting. Hmph.
Oct. 12th, 2011 12:41 pm (UTC)
*sigh* I would have made a truly awful parent. Truly.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


deep sky, firefly

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