Coming out of the seminar today there was a fire near it, and lots of noise and confusion and the smell of smoke that gets me still. But before things combusted I had a stroll around St. James' market and bought a yellow and orange wall hanging.
It is patchwork, made from fire-coloured sari pieces and beaded in places. I got it for Yugoslavia since the walls are so completely bare and I hope it will cheer me up, with the bright loveliness of its colours. My mother I think, will hate it though, I can already hear her voice in my head. It is very gaudy.
Although I like Nance's sleek minimalist approach to interior decorating after a while there is just something in me that starts to yearn for colour. Especially bold, bright, colours and spangly beads. Probably the Gypsy gene.
My joints ache, the weather has been nasty. I think the narrow street the flat looks out on makes a wind tunnel because it sounds like we are in the middle of a raging hurricane. I like wind noises. I find them oddly soothing (as I do lots of other things people usually hate like ticking watch and dripping water noises). They remind me of Yugoslavia, and the howling winter/autumn wind which we call koshava.
My hands hurt however, which there is little help for except in whinging. My knuckles are swollen, the right wrist is too stiff to move properly.
I'm taking metformin again, because the other thing they gave me is too disguisting for words. (Metformin or Glucophage is meant to be helping my body with the digestion of sugar in order to counterbalance the insulin resistance that goes hand in hand with PCOS). It leaves a nasty aftertaste but at least it no longer makes me nauseaous (even though I've started at the lowest dose, and will need to work towards doubling it) although it gives me fairly horrific abdominal pains and stomach cramps. These should ease after a week or so when my body adjusts (all being well).
I've lost quite a bit of weight since October at least 10 pounds which impressed my endo to no end since weight loss is so difficult to initiate and maintain with my metabolism. My BMI has gone down a notch to 25.2 although I am meant to aim to lose ten more pounds by June. I don't really think in terms of physical wieght (don't own a pair of scales, they depress me to no end) but I keep seeing the difference in my clothes which I keep needing to mend and alter and take in at the sides.
Part of the reason why I'm back on metformin is to hopefully help my body lose weight and kickstart my exceedingly sluggish metabolism into some form of action, although I also wish this did not have to involve hours of me going *Dear God, please let me die. Thank you.*