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The art of diplomacy and war

Since coming back to England I have been feeling incompetent and insane. Another day in the life of parenting, then.

I have several unfinished posts on the subjects of Parenting Frustration and the BrooHahaha around Belgrade's Gay pride (which was certainly topical when I was writing it two weeks ago) but that will have to be saved for another time for I hear the tolling bell of doom that is Matei coming awake from his daytime nap.

So until then, just a couple of things, briefly.

Matei and Z and I have recently been engaged in a complex war of attrition of sorts in which he gently insists that he ought to be sleeping in our bed and we slightly less gently insist that he ought to be sleeping in his own. Mostly this resuls in a lot of night-dancing between bedrooms and a few more nails in the coffin of Parental Intimacy.

Lately Matei has upped his ante by producing a string of ever more creative excuses of why it is imperative that he be in bed with us, and it is a good thing really, because they turn my frustration with the situation into laughter and humour is the glue which holds my tenuous mental health together.

Like so:

Incident 1 - It is 4:30am. The baby has woken up with stomach cramps, so I am walking her up and down the hallway, rubbing her back when I catch Matei in the middle of Attempted Incursion into the Parental Bedroom. I accompany him back into his own room whereupon he proceeds to list a number of ever-more-impressive reasons for why he ought to be with Z.
"But daddy said I could borrow the big bed with him!"
"I don't think so, son."
"But I had a sudden attack of vertigo, so Daddy said 'let us go lie down on the big bed, right now, together'."

Incident 2It is 4:30 in the morning. We are alerted to the presence of our son by the stroking of his icy hand. For one of my easily startled disposition, this is just as pleasant as you imagine.

In response to the inquiry of what he is doing here, Matei says:
"I had a bad dream and I was very very frightened. So I thought maybe also YOU had a bad dream, and were frightened, so I thought I would come and keep you company to make you feel better."

Ever the altruist, that one. An altruist beset by sudden attacks of light-headedness which funnily enough never beset him with urges to lie down in the daytime hours. Or before 9pm.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 20th, 2010 02:44 pm (UTC)
Daniel has started to climb into bed with us again after a year long hiatus. He doesn't tend to do it in the middle of the night though - he gets in a little bit before 6am, just when I'd fancy another 50 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

His latest excuse was that his teddy bear was farting so he couldn't stay in his room.
Oct. 20th, 2010 02:48 pm (UTC)
Ha! Joey has suddenly started trying to come back into our bed between 3 and 5am as well... maybe it's a seasonal thing? Are they waking up cold and some instinct says "go and annoy the fuck out of your parents"? He does not offer such compelling arguments, though. Nor does he need to: Michal and I are not capable of speech or coherent thought in the night time hours, so rather than make any attempt to argue we just budge up and it becomes 4 in a bed- two spread eagled, comfortable children, two harrassed, clinging-to-the-edges parents.
Oct. 20th, 2010 02:51 pm (UTC)
"Sudden attack of vertigo," awesome.
Oct. 20th, 2010 03:26 pm (UTC)
Your son is amazing, you should start making money off him as a stand up comic, he's like a real life version of one of the kids from Outnumbered :D

I was dreadful for climbing into bed with my mum when I was little, fortunately(?) my mum was a single parent so it didn't become an especially cramped bed situation and she didn't ever bother kicking me out. I did tend to go for the spreadeagled approach to sleeping in her bed though!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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