deep sky, firefly (rainsinger) wrote,
deep sky, firefly

Ridiculous and the sublime

Yesterday I managed to pee with grim determination while my howling, wailing son clung to my leg with equal resolve and I still cannot work out whether I should chalk it up as a victory or a new personal low.

Matei's general attitude of caring towards the baby, intermittently gets interrupted by bleaker incidents like so:

1) During bathtime, both are in the same tub. M is splashing around and the baby is sitting in a special little chair.
M:"Let us fill the bath with more water!"
N: We can't because the baby will drown.
M: I want the baby to drown, and to not have a sister anymore and to be able to take baths by myself in lots of water!

2)N: Don't break the baby's toys.
M: But I want to because I am angry at her, because I want mummy and daddy and grandma and grandpa to love only me.

3)Tonight, all three of us are in bed. I am feeding the baby and reading M a bedtime story. He holds up a pillow and says musingly: "Let's suffocate the baby!"

I am also not sure what wronger - his attitude or the fact that my first reaction to the above was to think "Wow! He is so articulate in his impulses of homicidal jealousy", but there we have it.

I am tired to the bone.
Tags: musing, parenthood
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