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Thirty is the new Whingey

I am still pregnant, and now that Extended Birthday Celebrations* are over I see no obstacles for the baby making its way into the world, thank you.

I am trying every natural method of induction known to man, including some of my own invention (going to the post office to send off my passport, just in case the weight of undone admin is causing some kind of psychological 'i'm not ready yet!' block).

My house has never been tidier. My to-do list has been so thoroughly vanquished that pretty much the only remaining item on it is 'Reply to Facebook messages'.

On the other hand, I am increasingly convinced that the baby will be born on Wednesday, because that's when we're having a sofa delivered and if there's anything that can kickstart labour at this point, it's Murphy's Law.

*On my actual birthday (thank you for all your lovely wishes! Much appreciated!), I was all 'Woe woe, moan moan I don't want to just sit in the house doing nothing but there's nowhere I can go and nothing I can do because I am BROKEN and THREE MILLION YEARS PREGNANT' until the idea of testing out the inflatable birth pool was hit upon.

I responded with immediate enthusiasm, and convinced Z to fill that baby up with hot water even though he was all 'but our beautiful vulnerable living room floor, and all our electronics and massive water wastage and the dying Earth and the parched children of Africa' but apparently the 30s are all about egotism, because I and my TRAUMATISED PELVIC STRUCTURES** did not care. So Z got over his principles, set up the tub, filled it with water while I flitted about the room lighting scented candles and filling up tall glasses of cool juice, and then because he is a kind man and sometimes loves me more than his pet hates and his cat-like aversion to getting wet, he got in the pool with me and cuddled me and watched a film he considered the epitome of boredom (Bright Star) with good grace and no complaints whatsoever. These are some of the reasons why I adore Z, even though he still refuses to acknolwedge that there is ONLY ONE ACCEPTABLE AND PROPER WAY TO DO HOUSEWORK which is my way, cleraly.

** The Pelvic Curse*** is spreading, as Orange Cat suffered unknown blunt trauma to his back over the weekend which he manifested by lying around the house looking miserable and peeing all over the place, and which took us some hours to figure out because we were lying in bed chattering and the cat wasn't crying, and apparently in the midst of a feline crisis I don't care about pee at all, but the next day after all is pronounced well and cat is fine but my house still retains a distinct whiff of Old People's Home despite washing floors five times, then my nonchalance is compromised, apparently.

*** Z's pelvic structures are intact, but he has sustained massive muscular inflammation in his legs, which means that now both of us lurch around the house like zombies, while groaning. This is very companionable.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 27th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
I can't say that I have.
Is that another tip for labour-speeding?
Or will it at least help me while away the time in a pleasant high?
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 29th, 2010 10:54 am (UTC)
Re: from Bright Star
I have taken to chewing on chillies with my very own teeth.
Jul. 27th, 2010 03:42 pm (UTC)
the deputy manager in our office suggest fresh pineapple and says that's what got his wife started...I can't say I believe him but you could try assuming you like fresh pineapple so it wouldn't be a torture anyway!
Jul. 29th, 2010 10:54 am (UTC)
Unfortunately, I tend to be a bit allergic to pineapple, but if this pregnancy goes on another week I will start mixing it with alcoholic drinks.
Jul. 27th, 2010 05:40 pm (UTC)
Belated birthday wishes!

As for getting things moving, spicy food! Don't ask me why it works. Furniture movers in the house helps, too.
Jul. 29th, 2010 10:55 am (UTC)
Apparently this fetus enjoys all the chillies I've been throwing at it, in every meal and refuses to be bothered.
Jul. 27th, 2010 08:16 pm (UTC)
Well giving a blow job, apparently, is even better than sex for starting labour off.
The day before Aleks was born I went on a v bumpy car ride, ate a pineapple, had sex, bounced on the birthing ball that I wasn't remotely interested in when I was actually giving birth... Mind you, I think you're on to something with the sofa delivery. I started active labour at the same time as Michal was supposed to be on site at a job accepting a scaffolding delivery. Babies are sly.
Jul. 29th, 2010 10:56 am (UTC)
Today's plan of attack includes savage bouncing on a yoga ball. I can only do it when Z's not looking because it upsets him (he is convinced it will give the baby brain damage).
Jul. 27th, 2010 10:35 pm (UTC)
sending love and good thoughts for a speedy delivery date!!
i have zero advice for inducing - nothing worked for me. xox
Jul. 29th, 2010 10:57 am (UTC)
Thank you.
And congratulations on your adorable little boy - I look forward to more pictures and updates.

Jul. 29th, 2010 07:05 pm (UTC)
I have a friend who refuses to go into labour until she has had a bath and shaved her bikini line. Might be worth a shot? :o) x
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


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