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This is exactly the sort of thing that occupies Z's fantasy life. (Not disaster so much, as being prepared to face disaster). This leads to him taking a knife with us on every journey (although not in his hand luggage, thank god) which lets him feel prepared and leads me to feel certain we will be arrested one of these days.

Our differences in opinion on this issue were illustrated starkly when we were on our honeymoon in Belize. (Which also illustrated many other differences in opinion, including: Eating is more Important To Me Than to Z, and I Like Reading In Hammocks Strung In Orange Groves, While He Thinks We Are Wasting Our Time And Plane Tickets If Not Sunk Knee Deep In Mud In The Jungle; but look - still married!)

We were staying in a breathtakingly beautiful place from which you could stroll through the jungle using a variety of roads and hiking paths. So off we went equipped with a large umbrella (me) and a two-foot long machete borrowed from one of the Lodge's staff (Z), as protection against jaguars and evildoers.

And no matter how hard I reasoned that jaguars are nocturnal animals, and shy of humans, and the prospect of seeing one as remote as world peace, Z would not be parted from his blade, just as I would not be parted from my belief that we were more likely to be accidentally eviscerated by him slipping on the footpath than by any predator. In the end we reached a compromise in which he agreed to sheathe the machete in the umbrella, and spent the rest of our walk using it in the manner of an elegant walking stick. (Incidentally, we never saw a jaguar on our walks, but both of us still remain passionately attached to our original opinions on this issue).

Though much of my marriage is based on loving mockery, it's not Z's desire to be prepared that I object to. I like to be prepared myself, I just tend to do it by imagining gloom and doom scenarios, preferrably from the comfort of a sofa. On the other hand, Z's founding principle is that there is a right tool for every situation and his life's work, and I'm fairly sure he'll never stop creating grand designs or collecting tools and that I'll never stop finding this endearing.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 23rd, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
Z is a combination of my mother, who never went on vacation without clothes for any possibility, whether it was lurching up a mountain (in London?), or being presented to the Queen, and my father, who never met a tool he didn't like. He had a workshop absolutely filled with every type of hammer, screwdriver, and wrench. He never believed in renting a power tool for a job-he bought it. He had a wall of nails, neatly sorted and labeled in old baby food jars.

No one had the heart to make him give them up, even though I never saw him build as much as a doghouse.
Feb. 27th, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
No one had the heart to make him give them up, even though I never saw him build as much as a doghouse.

Feb. 23rd, 2010 11:51 am (UTC)
I am very familiar with Z's way of thinking. I myself am in a permanent state of vigilance for the best tools/safe spots/danger zones in the vicinity in case of a zombie attack.

I have also spent a great deal of time thinking about how to best deal with different animal attacks.
Feb. 27th, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
I have also spent a great deal of time thinking about how to best deal with different animal attacks.

Have you come up with conclusive guidance on that front?
Feb. 23rd, 2010 08:47 pm (UTC)
I love you guys, and I love that you're happy :o)
Feb. 27th, 2010 11:59 am (UTC)
Thank you.
Same to you darling. xx
Feb. 27th, 2010 03:28 pm (UTC)
I think I like this preparedness better than the boyfriends I have had who like to keep "decorative" knives around that they ordered from some crazy catalog of fantasy-movie weapons. I put decorative in quotes because omg those things are horrifyingly large and sharp, and in my worst case scenario brainstorming I envision tripping over the laundry and impaling myself on them.

Current and forever partner likes to bring a knife with him everywhere he goes, a nice little pocketknife, which is fine, but I also worry will get us arrested someday.

(This is Kim from ProsaicParadise.)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )


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