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I fly to Montenegro to reacquaint myself with my son , leaving Z to look after the cats and make sad puppy eyes in my wake.

N: I will miss you so much.
Z: I will miss you too. Who am I going to talk with when I come home? Whom am I going to share my bed with?
N:Hopefully no onee.

It has been a month and a half since I've last seen my son and in that time I've gone through Stages Of Separation that roughly look like this:

1. Shock. Disbelief.
2. A headiness that comes from sleep and drinking and going out with other adults five nights in a row. JUBILATION for you are FREE from the YOKE OF TYRANNY of babies.
3. DESPAIR. Perhaps you need tyranny. Perhaps it lends meaning and structure to your life.
4.The excitement of road trips through foreign countries with one's beloved husband. Like a second honeymoon, if wild sex were replaced with crashing nightly into the oblivion of motel beds and exhausted sleep.
5.An aching, aching sadness compounded by jetlag and post-holiday blues.
6. Chaos. Disarray. Due to no longer having a child for whose sake to maintain pretence of competence, stop cleaning house, eating regular meals or buying vegetables. Live like students, eat like hobos.
7. Boredom. A sudden sweep of boredom which hurtles you through dark and dingy alleys of your mind and spits you into the dust and rubble of the daytime world. In your disoriented state you decide the only cure is a trip to IKEA (on a weekend no less) to replace a horrible kitchen table with a nice new one.
8. While Z does DIY you decide to welcome the Beautiful New Table (the thing you ooooh over and admire in the absence of your baby) by scrubbing the kitchen floor on your hands and knees, in your underwear. This will be simultaneously the closest you will come to giving your husband an erotic thrill, although when you realise that he is directing more appreciative 'aaahing' at the shiny floor than at your ass, you threaten to brain him with a bottle of multi-surface cleaner.
9.Heady with success of actual clean kitchen, complete with actually visible counterspace you decide to tackle the ominous mountain of CDs that infests your living room which leads us to:

Remembrance Of Terrible Musical Tastes Past

When some people move house they get rid of as much as possible so that they migrate with as little as possible. We are not those people, and our CD shelves were full of things that we had collected in our teenage years and not listened to since then. My Pile Of Shame attested to an unsavoury affection for country music and Enigma, while Z's contained a mix of German Death Metal and miscellanious Sounds Of Nature CDs (of which my favourite is called Frog Chorus).

Tomorrow I travel and will have no internet until the end of August. The withdrawal symptoms would normally be immediate and severe, but I anticipate that preventing my son from running out onto highways or drowning himself in the sea will commandeeer all my resources to the degree that if I have time to read sell by dates on a carton of yoghurt I shall consider myself fortunate.



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 18th, 2009 10:07 pm (UTC)
If you were older (like me) your terrible musical taste would be represented in LPs and tapes. The obvious advantage is that you can almost certainly rely on your kids never playing your Tin Machine records.
Aug. 19th, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
Ah the LPs. Who knows, if they hang around long enough they would probably become hip again and then you will feel vindicated.
Aug. 18th, 2009 10:32 pm (UTC)
this has made me very happy. i made noises when i read, in context: Live like students, eat like hobos.
Aug. 19th, 2009 04:54 am (UTC)
I'm always pleased to amuse my fellow man. :)
Aug. 19th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC)
Reasons to set your journal to no anonymous comments include:

1.) no criminals arranging heists on your LJ
2.) no morons pretending to be the above

also setting it to record IP addresses helps too

Edited at 2009-08-19 01:52 am (UTC)
Aug. 19th, 2009 04:53 am (UTC)
All good reasons, and IP addresses are being recorded, but LJ refuses to ban the IP address in question.

The reason why I still allow anonymous comments is because lots of people I treasure are not on LiveJournal and when one of them drops around here and leaves me a note my heart surges with delight and I'd hate to block off the avenues for them.

Anonymous comments are being screened at the moment though, which will hopefully reduce the problem.
Aug. 20th, 2009 09:46 am (UTC)
Yay for mama- baby reunions!
Aug. 28th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
Shameless Self Promotion
Here is where I shamelessly suggest that you totally, 100% go check out rentageek.mommygeekology.com and let me move you to Wordpress.

Because then you can block IP addresses.

Oh, and Wordpress is awesome.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


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