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Son and Headache both bossy, unreasonable.

Sometimes the only cure for a blinding headache is to eat trifle at 2am. Now you know.

Matei has recently fallen deeply in love with me and likes to spend his leisure time chanting MaMa MaMa MaMa and bringing me little gifts (mainly weeds and stones from the garden. Sometimes snacks of fruit and toast. Occasionally handfuls of cathair).

Meanwhile my new found pedestal is accompanied by being the person of choice to do everything, although this is a very minor irritant and really I find it hard to surpress my glee and the desire to run around the house shouting I'm Number 1!

(Z is being delighted with these developments because a) he is a nice man and b) I had spent so long agonising that Matei prefers other people to me).

It is hard to describe how delightful I find this kid, especially now that he is talking. (He has twigged that the cry of 'Who's there?') is proceeded by doors being opened, so now when he wakes up and wants to be released from his room he starts chanting 'Who's there? Who's there?' with plaintiveness and/or passion until someone wakes up and takes pity.

He retains a forceful and determined personality, and being forced to put on dry clothes and clean nappies invariably provokes a rigid-bodied crisis (which is also liable to come when he's denied the fifth millionth serving of fruit, or coerced into a nap, or shackled with a bib).

Tomorrow I'm taking him to the Old Country to spend three months running around on the seaside (being catered to by his coterie of loving relatives and groupies) while Z and I stay in the UK and work (and go on a Man-And-Wife vacation) and experiment with sleeping-in on weekends and going out in the week (but let's face it, mostly mope and mourn).

Matei senses something is up (which possibly helps explain his newfound attachment to me) and has come up with all kinds of new rituals (including an insistence that whenever he and I part company he takes something of mine to carry with him and gives me something of his). I currently have an orange plastic ball sitting in my bag from just such an I-carry-your-heart-in-my-heart exchange, making me feel in equal measure elated and tearful.

Children are sneaky, like that. Not content with merely terrorising you and turning your life upside down, they then colonise your heart and make themselves indispensible and no matter what you lead yourself to believe you are never the same in their wake.


deep sky, firefly

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