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Between a rock and a nostalgic place

Summary of 16 months of parenthood:

Months 0-3: I wish people would stop telling me about how quickly time passes, because a sleepless night spent bouncing on a yoga ball as a last-ditch attempt to try and settle the baby = a very, very long time indeed. Whenever I hear someone admonishing me about 'enjoying them now' I sort of want to punch them, or hand them the baby to bounce while I have a several-hour nap.

Months 3-6: Baby somewhat less of a shithead. I begin edging away from the precipice of divorce and insanity and start of wiling away the night hours in sleep, rather than suicidal ideation.

Month 6-9 Still frequently isolated and bored out of my mind, but also able to praise baby for his good behaviour on beaches and planes and all that marvellous sitting and pulling up to stand he is doing.

Month 9-12 With the return to work and coursework time starts speeding up and essentially runs me over like an express train. All resolve about doing coursework in a timely manner flies out of the window as I spend my evenings on the sofa, catatonic with exhaustion. On the positive side, no longer resent son if he wakes up in the night since I tend to see so little of him during the day.

Months 12-16 Baby becomes a delightful human being - clever and gorgeous and utterly charming. His growing language comprehension offsets his tantrumy frustration although he remains stubborn as a mule. With the approach of galloping deadlines my mind becomes paralysed with stress, I feel unable to get on coursework in a timely manner so spend a lot of time lolling on sofas with migraines bemoaning everything and fantasising about being able to stop time by touching my index fingers and doing no coursework which only increases paralytic amounts of stress. Official current verdict - Time Going Way Too Damn Fast.


( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 26th, 2009 04:23 am (UTC)
I'll give you one very soon!
Apr. 26th, 2009 04:24 am (UTC)
Actually it's ours.
Apr. 26th, 2009 04:43 am (UTC)
Your anonymous commenters are such a delight.

And it's Morose Frog Baby!

He is so cute.
Apr. 26th, 2009 05:48 am (UTC)
Inpudent kitty, I love you.
Apr. 28th, 2009 06:00 am (UTC)
I'm thinking of making an Anonymous comments poem one day. I think the words 'Impudent Kitty' will feature prominently.
Apr. 28th, 2009 06:02 am (UTC)
Well, you KNOW that J.C. now has a new nickname!

I've been picking her up and squealing, "Impudent kitty, I love you!"

Apr. 26th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Apr. 26th, 2009 06:33 am (UTC)
Neither one.
Apr. 26th, 2009 06:37 am (UTC)
Please tell me about your honest preference or opinion.
Apr. 26th, 2009 08:27 am (UTC)
Good grief! You've clearly impressed the Kanji-speaking world.

Still. some of us love you lots :o) And would like to come say hello :o)

Apr. 26th, 2009 09:15 am (UTC)
Oh no, I just deleted my favourite spam comment. It read: 'I see you are dishonest because you are a Catholic'.

I miss you too. Are you going to be around my part of the world soon?

Apr. 26th, 2009 03:32 pm (UTC)
*grins* awwww!

i am in fact! this weekend in fact :o) are you london-way by any chance? x
Apr. 28th, 2009 05:52 am (UTC)
Boo! I didn't see this until now - so holding onto the hope that you are coming to London this weekend rather than that you already left.

Apr. 28th, 2009 07:17 am (UTC)
this weekend coming :o)
Apr. 26th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
I can so relate! You have a lovely way with words :)
Apr. 28th, 2009 06:00 am (UTC)
It's always comforting when other mothers can relate. :) Cheers.
Apr. 26th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Sympathies re coursework, can you get deadline extensions? Also perhaps now is the time to disable anonymous comments...
Apr. 28th, 2009 05:56 am (UTC)
Re: deadline extensions - probably, although the thought of Severe Judgemental Looks from course director makes me slightly reluctant to try.

I've thought of disabling anon comments, but that would also prevent all my journal-less friends from having a say and I love it when they pop up.

I'm also thinking of collecting all the bits of spam and seeing if I can make them into a poem.
Apr. 27th, 2009 12:03 am (UTC)
Great description of those early months! I always said (muttered under my breath) that a baby is wasted on its parents.
Gald to hear that the baby has now become delightful. Just wait until he is two (cue evil laughter).
Apr. 28th, 2009 05:57 am (UTC)
that a baby is wasted on its parents.

Heh. True. In the first three months his grandmother was the only person who was pleased when my son woke up. The rest of us would be wailing: "What? Already?"
Apr. 27th, 2009 08:31 pm (UTC)
I want "Somewhat less of a shithead" on a little tiny t-shirt for my daughter. That's brilliant.

So far I've found it goes in peaks and troughs, where the peaks are points where I want my child to stay just this perfect and lovely for ever, and the troughs are perfect places from which to drop-kick her into the middle of next year.

Apr. 28th, 2009 05:59 am (UTC)
I want "Somewhat less of a shithead" on a little tiny t-shirt for my daughter.

If I was a more organised person I would easily accomplish this.

I want "Somewhat less of a shithead" on a little tiny t-shirt for my daughter.

"Go to your room and don't come out until you are delightful again!"

May. 29th, 2009 02:08 pm (UTC)
'enjoying them now'

To 'Time will pass so fast' from other people I almost am tempted to congratulate them on their easy baby and say thank you...Somehow only my own mum still remembers her first month with me as eternity...
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )


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