Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

For December, my life gets a GLOBAL FAIL

Ways in which the Universe has made me weep lately:

1)To the wanker who stole all my money and used it to pay for taxis and hotels via internet fraud - I wish you would be one of those people end up killed in freak accidents by their beds or the laundry or something.

2)To my bank who authorised the transfers of large sums of money from my account without bothering to contact me, until it rejected my card in the supermarket a few days later and sent me a kind letter saying I had exceeded my overdraft limit that will be x fee please - I make glarey eyes and think of you in a shouty voice. Also, I should warn you right now that I do not intend to pay those fees.

3)To the council that cashed my check for service charges but then saw fit to lie about it and refer my details to a debt collecting agency who sent me a kind letter saying they wanted the money I HAD ALREADY PAID plus £200 for their kind service of breaking my kneecaps collecting this debt - I have actual proof from my bank the cheque has cleared which I shall wave in your face very soon WHILE making glary eyes and shouty voices.

4)Dear Universe, although I appreciate all these hints to make this Christmas economically sensible, I think you can stop now, because Universe, I need to eat. And the baby needs diapers and eats more than I do. Thank you kindly.

5) To yesterday's client re: your kind offer to 'fuck me up'- thank you but no.

6)To my son - my darling, though I cherish your adventurous spirit, the union between your nose and the furniture will never be a happy one. I suggest you learn this lesson as soon as possible. I want you to know that although your injuries may have a karmic component to them*, they give me no joy whatsoever and you can stop with them now.

Matei's Cranium: 1, Nina's Cheekbone: 0

My newest unlikely explanation for my black eye : "The baby hit me."

This is what comes of trying to comfort the congested little ingrate in the comfort of the parental bed, while he thrashes around wildly and headbutts all and sundry.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 19th, 2008 06:13 pm (UTC)
Banks must fail in general. I've also had to go through lots of bother this week getting blocks taken off of my debit card and ended up needing a new debit card altogether because the idiot I spoke to didn't know how to remove the block. It will probably take ages to arrive thanks to the Christmas post. So I can't access my money and haven't been able to all week. The suspicious activity causing my bank to do this? Me shopping in all the same shops I always shop in. No fraud at all or anything remotely suspicious. And I was just thinking it would be typical that when something suspicious really *does* happen, they do nothing. And I hate that this proves me right! :( Fail indeed. Will you be able to get the money back?
Dec. 22nd, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
I should get the money back soon, within a couple of days, but my shredded nerves may take longer to return to me.

Dec. 19th, 2008 07:07 pm (UTC)
Dude, internet fraud sucks so much. My email and ebay were both hacked last week... I'm waiting to see what the damage is.

Good luck to you.
Dec. 22nd, 2008 06:02 pm (UTC)
Eeeep! I feel your pain and wrath.
I hope the damage wasn't huge or irreparable... Keeping fingers crossed for you.
Dec. 19th, 2008 07:25 pm (UTC)
Argh, what unmitigated EVIL! Set the baby on the criminals! xx
Dec. 22nd, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
If you ever run a Masterclass in How To Make Your Financial Servants Weep And Not The Other Way Around, I shall be in the front row.

Dec. 22nd, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
I think it's all down to attitude.

I'm not asking you for this. I am telling you what I expect of you. And part of that is that I expect to be pleasantly surprised by what you are about to offer me.

Dec. 20th, 2008 09:33 am (UTC)
Eeek. We should be able to charge them for the stress damage.
Dec. 22nd, 2008 06:01 pm (UTC)
Yes I would love that.

Dear Person,

For all the idiocy you have inflicted on me I would like to charge you a penalty of £250 to compensate me for the feeling of wanting to for different reasons hit both of our heads against the wall.

Dec. 20th, 2008 08:03 pm (UTC)
Ex-client now?
Dec. 22nd, 2008 05:59 pm (UTC)
Re: #5
I can see why you might think that, but no. It's a therapy client so verbal abuse is considered Insight Into A Troubled Mind.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


deep sky, firefly

Latest Month

December 2013


Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow