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Gok Wan can go shag himself

Gok Wan doesn't empower me. He doesn't build my sense of self-esteem.

You know what did though? Good goddamn sex done by good lovers whose touch on my skin made me tremble all over, whose kisses on my neck and stomach and thigh talked about how beautiful they found me. Being seen and celebrated for exactly who I was was immensely empowering in a way that being bound and stuffed and brushed and polished into some illusory version of that never could be.

Women feel depressed because we are constantly presented with a gulf between who we are and who we are told we have to be in order to be praised and the whole thing is so insidious and toxic that it makes me curl my lip in disdain. I sneer at you hypocritical beauty standards and your peddlers!

You know what else I enjoyed? Eating cake and licking whipped cream off my fingers and donning silky underthings that hugged my curves. Locking my jiggly bits into the Spandex love-child of a corset/those slimming-aid plastic pants did not feature in any of that.

You know what I would consider a celebration of women?

Mainstream clothing manufacturers creating garments that allow for bus and booty and encase them lovingly in fetching tops and well-cut trousers that don't force you to make choices about whether you'd prefer something that fits your waist or your hips. (To say nothing of course of equal pay, access to good but affordable childcare and generous maternity and dependency leave pay/allowances)

Also media articles about body truth that aren't merely obsequious loads of hypocritical bollocks - paying lip service to the concept of 'real normal bodies' while illustrating this with bodies that fit the body ideal in terms of shape and size.

I am not stupid and I deplore being made to feel stupid by the obvious contradiction of being told to 'feel good about your body/ your body is appealing' while only being shown pictures of people who are a size 12 at the heaviest range of the spectrum. This isn't about accepting yourself or being valued. It's merely about AGAIN being told how to dress and how to look to be accepted.

Because the sentence 'You Would Be So Pretty If' will never, in any world, be healing.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 21st, 2008 12:37 pm (UTC)
You know what? I don't think I ever feel so sexy as I do at this stage of pregnancy, where everything is blooming and soft and I'm all lush curves and fertile, rounded belly. My husband seems to feel the same way, but society... society does not approve of this at all. Society wants me to want to be bony.

I love posts like this one and women like you :)
Oct. 22nd, 2008 11:25 am (UTC)
Society wants me to want to be bony.

Stupid society.

I'm glad you're feeling sexy. I remember when I was pregnant quite liking my figure but I only truly felt sexy again after I had evicted the squatter.
Oct. 21st, 2008 01:21 pm (UTC)
not quite in the tone of this beautiful post, but you have got the hottest body ever, for srs.
Oct. 22nd, 2008 11:27 am (UTC)
so do you
Thank you darling. :)

Oct. 21st, 2008 01:31 pm (UTC)
Yes. Just YES.
Oct. 22nd, 2008 11:31 am (UTC)
Oct. 21st, 2008 03:05 pm (UTC)
Of course, I had to go and Google "Gok Wan", and ruined my entire morning. That is without doubt the most butt-ugly, unsexy underwear I have ever seen outside of my granny-panty "I'm on my cycle" drawer.

I don't think I ever told you this story, but it fits today. Remember when I was in your flat with Lynne, and you were getting ready for work? After you left, I told Lynne, "That's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen-but what makes her so? It's not just the physical." Lynne answered, "She knows who she is, and has peace within herself". She was right.

I'm telling you, having inner peace with your size and shape is way, way sexier than any shrink-wrapped travesty of what you are supposed to look like. Some lover who is lucky enough to get me down to cases like that is going to see me (and better damn well worship me) as I really am. Z. is one hell of a lucky man.

And now, I must go and use my best body wash and lotion (to hell with waiting to use the "good" stuff), and set out to de-granny pants myself and get some that feel like a million dollars. I knew that man would make me spend money.


Oct. 22nd, 2008 11:24 am (UTC)
That is without doubt the most butt-ugly, unsexy underwear I have ever seen outside of my granny-panty "I'm on my cycle" drawer.

Hah, exactly! Just because you give them racy names Gok Wan doesn't mean it's actually appealing.
Oct. 21st, 2008 04:21 pm (UTC)
Oct. 22nd, 2008 11:23 am (UTC)
I am woman, hear me rant!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )


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