deep sky, firefly (rainsinger) wrote,
deep sky, firefly

The most traumatised I have been since I saw Jaws 3 in 3D aged 8

The day started out rather well. We woke up from a night of restful sleep among friends and the baby was being sweet and my allergies were not too fearsome so I was all prepared for a day of Sun and Nature so we packed up the car with lunch and the baby and the dog and my immediate family and set off for the countryside where an excellent time was had by all for many hours.

Behold the proof:

The dog found dog friends and ran around as part of a dog pack, and the child got passed from lap to lap like a baby equivalent of the Olympic Torch and at 4pm we set off for home with jaunty waves and armfuls of roses.

At the outskirts of Belgrade a spring rain began falling, and rapidly turned into large rain. Nobody was duly alarmed although I made allowances for the weather by rolling up the windows. As we were pulling into our street the Large Drops turned into Menacing Gangster Rain and as we were working out where to park and how to unload the child and stuff from the car in the most speedy was possible Menacing Rain suddenly became Tiny Hail. And just as we found an (illegal) spot to park our car in front of the home all the more easily to unload it Tiny Hail graduated to Satan's Popcorn and then from there leapt to become Huge Snarling Minority-Hating ASBO Hail of DOOOM.

Like this:

Hailstones the size of quails eggs and those gigantic olives you get at the deli. Hailstones that were not only large but numerous and they fell so fast and heavily and hard so that the windshield became blurred and the street beyond us turned into a river of white.

And as the sky continued to pelt us (ever harder) with its baby fists of ice we were effectively trapped because there was no way to drive the car somewhere safe (like the garage) and no possibility of grabbing the child and leaping the four feet to the safety of the doorway without sustaining some serious injury to my person.

And as the heavens unleashed their unseasonal and unexpected rage upon our heads I watched the dog teeter on the edge of Fully Losing Her Shit (she is terribly afraid of storms and being bombed by hail was close to her idea of Room 101) while various scenes from The Day After Tomorrow unreeled themselves before mine eyes.

I was still mostly fine, and was prepared to continue musing idly on the unpredictablity of nature and the subject of global warming when I observed that the hailstones (now the size of kiwis) were falling so fast and so furiously that they were bouncing off the ground the other cars and the hood of our car in order to hit the windows in viscious ricochets, and it occured to me to wonder "Goodness I wonder how much of this abuse the windows can withstand before they you know, SHATTER".

(Z, later on the phone:"Pah those windows need to get him by soemthing the size of bricks in order to break, and besides even if they had broken they would have splintered first instead of exploding " which is nice to know and I'll remember for next time, but in that moment I didn't have access to his Reassuring Engineer Knowledge only my Imagination and Fear which is a potent partnership at the best of times)

And as my Inner Tension suddenly leapt from Quite Low to Holding Shit Together For the Sake Of Appearances And The Mental Health of Dog And Child, the baby woke up, realised we were being bombed by the sky, whiffed The Fear being emanated and promptly began to wail. Except I couldn't pick him up to soothe him because I was thinking his sheltered car seat was the safest place for him to be in case of Window Breakage and as I prepared to valiantly throw my body across him to shield him I was still not completely at ease with the idea of fragments of a hypothetically broken window flying forwards to embed themselves in my back. (For starters my sweet white jacket would have been RUINED).

And as I was playing with various scenarios (eg. was it safer to just open the damn windows) the hail slowed and then stopped and the street looked like this:
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and my balcony looked like this:

but nobody was hurt except the plants.

How was your day?
Tags: adventures in foreign, wtf
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