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October 2007 may well become known as the month when the Universe decided to beat up on Z and Nina until they wept for mercy just so it could go "No mercy for you suckers!" and then kick them in the teeth some more. My stress levels can be perhaps accurately mirrored in the fact that I either seem to have no appetite at all, or I eat vast quantities of cheese. (Mmmmmm, cheese).

October has been the month where I have found myself facing £3000 of bills I did not epect, not receiving the £2000 I was expecting and contemplating idly what life will be like next year when Small Squalling Thing is here and I'm bringing home the pittance that the British Government likes to call Statutory Maternity Pay. (And cheese, as we well know, does not pay for itself).

In a similar vein (because what are financial woes, without physical ones to accompany them?) my already-bad pelvic pain has been exponentially increased by the fact that on Monday afternoon a child barrelled into me in the library, smacking me in the most painful part of my pelvis, causing me to see every star in the sky and spend the next 45 minutes lying on the carpeted floor too shocked to contemplate anything but shallow breathing and getting someone to call a taxi to drive me the 500 metres home because I couldn't manage to walk that much.

Since then I've kept my walking/sitting minimal and my paracetamol intake high. I can probably go about half an hour of sitting and/or ten minutes of walking -I employ the word in its loosest sense, since I'm shuffling about with tiny steps, like a geisha with Parkinson's- before I feel like I'm being stabbed with a handful of fiery needles. The house looks like a bomb site and I haven't got the energy to clean it, even though just looking at it makes me want to cry. (I am a tidy person trapped in a disorganised person's body).

But! The month of October has still not dampened by resolution to Not Focus On the Negatives so let us talk instead about the gloriousness of the weekend past when Z and I visited chiller and met her cats, and ate her scones (which also happen to be the finest scones I have ever had) and admired her interior decorating talents. And then there's also the fact that I found The Best Smart Maternity Trousers In The World and I will post pictures of their exquisite beauty as soon as I'm vertical again.

Today I'm off work to rest and recuperate for a day in the office tomorrow, and I'm lying in bed piled high with kittens whose goal for Life Happiness seems to consist in molding themselves to my body and grooming my sweater (one of these days one of them will start spitting up blue hairballs).

One of my ex-colleagues is pregnant and expecting her baby a couple of weeks before I'm serving an eviction notice to mine, and by all accounts she is not only glowing with happiness but being amazingly industrious and sewing baby quilts and whatnot, which makes me smile in a wry sort of way since the most industrious thing I've done for my child is to feed it cheese and threaten its father with divorce unless he stops snoring.

Ultimately though, I am OK. One thing that this month has proved to me is just how amazingly strong and supportive Z is and how Things Will Be Fine. I have unshakable faith that as long as the baby is healthy and the two of us are as rock solid to each other as we normally are, then the world can fall apart and we will still be fine. We will find some way through the mess, work out a strategy, take out some loans if need be but ultimately work things out. That as long as we're together and good to each other, that's all that matters. That, and not letting the cheese run out.

So ultimately, I'm not anxious. Only holding my breath through a long dive underwater.


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 25th, 2007 12:53 pm (UTC)
I wear the cheese, the cheese does not wear me.

I am always inspired by how well you write, and how much humour you impart to even the grimmest of scenarios. Much kudos and well wishingness for a rapid improvement to things for you guys :)
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you :) Things feel somewhat easier already.
Oct. 25th, 2007 12:57 pm (UTC)
Tax Credits are a life saver.
And cheese is very important for children. VERY important indeed. I can't overstate the imprtance of making sure your cheese levels remain high throughout pregnancy.
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:56 pm (UTC)
you don't want another cat, do you?
I can't overstate the imprtance of making sure your cheese levels remain high throughout pregnancy.

Hurrah! I shall add it to my list of Things I've Had To Do For This Baby. ;)
Oct. 25th, 2007 01:00 pm (UTC)
I really really want your baby to get here. Is it because I want you to get relief from the pregnancy pain? Or perhaps because I want you to marvel at the creation of a little life, another link in the chain of the respective generations that brought us Nina and Z?

Hell no. It's because I'm dying to read about the baby. Yep, it's all about me. And I always get so excited when I see you've posted. I think of you a lot, but not in a weird stalkerish way. It's because years ago you sent me a hand-painted candle holder, and now that I've cleaned out my hovel, the candle holder is in a prominent place on the bookshelf, where I walk past it many times each day.

Sorry about the financial woes and the little rugrat who crashed in to you.
Oct. 25th, 2007 01:02 pm (UTC)
And in case there weren't enough commas in that comment, have some more:
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:56 pm (UTC)
I think of you a lot, but not in a weird stalkerish way. It's because years ago you sent me a hand-painted candle holder, and now that I've cleaned out my hovel, the candle holder is in a prominent place on the bookshelf, where I walk past it many times each day.

Woo hoo! If this pregnancy makes me anymore immobile I shall be exploding int creative craft some more.
Oct. 25th, 2007 01:05 pm (UTC)
I want this all to get better. And it will! I am excited for you, and I too can't wait to read about the baby.

Oct. 30th, 2007 12:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)

I too can't wait to read about the baby.

I am pleased to hear people say this, for much baby-related writing is sure to ensue in 2008.
Oct. 25th, 2007 01:15 pm (UTC)
Hi, I've tootled over from TLL and added you as (a) this post made me laugh (b) looks like we're due around the same time and (c) it's good to be reminded that I'm not the only person who is getting tired of having tiny baby feet wedged in their rib cage.

Those sewing type pregnant women? I hate them ;) If it helps, I'm in nowhere near as much discomfort as you seem to be but I still need to be in bed by 9pm! :>
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:58 pm (UTC)

Hello! Nice to meet you. :D
Oct. 25th, 2007 01:21 pm (UTC)
I send you love and hugs. x
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Same back at you.

I still read your journal avidly, even though I never seem to manage to get it together enough to comment.
Oct. 25th, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
you know, I'm only up the road...if there's anything I can do that would be useful just yelp
Oct. 30th, 2007 12:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Oct. 25th, 2007 09:54 pm (UTC)
cheddar or cottage?
Oct. 30th, 2007 01:00 pm (UTC)
Re: ...
Cheddar, mostly. Although no pasterised cheese is safe from me.

Also *commiserations*.
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 28th, 2007 11:01 pm (UTC)
I am so sorry that you are not feeling well. I didn't have as much trouble as you (not quite the same type as I developed carpal tunnel syndrome due to my pregnancy and my damned pelvic ligaments wouldn't stretch right) are and there were days that I was miserable.

And don't you just hate it when someone starts talking about how wonderful there pregnancy was, they only gained 2 pounds and never not sick and never had an ache or pain *). Then childbirth was a few pushes and they were on their way home.

It gets better, it truly does.
Oct. 30th, 2007 01:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) It doesn't feel like there is ages to go anymore, so I'm well excited about that.
Oct. 30th, 2007 01:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :) I have complete faith in the fact that Things Are Bound To Get Better Soon. We'll see who is more right - my faith or the Universe's desire to mock me.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )


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