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Z has developed a lump on his back, which I've been on his case about to get sorted with loving statements such as this one:

N:Go get it looked at! Soon! If not immediately! Morever, I don't understand why it didn't just occur to you yourself to get it sorted out when you noticed it was there.

Z: Oh because I get those lumps from time to time and then they just dissappear.

N:Well that thing hasn't vanished. It's grown.

Z: I had a huge lump on my chest a couple of years ago. It was really painful too. So I just got rid of it.

N: (with rising sense of dread) What do you mean?

Z: I just sterilised a needle with a lighter flame and poked it into the lump until all the gunk inside flowed out.

N: Argh! You're insane! You're a maniac! You can't do DIY surgery!

Z: I don't see why not. It was very hygenic. I even sterilised the wound afterwards by spraying it with perfume.

N: round eyed, but speechless

Z: (defensively) It was perfectly fine! Perfume's got alcohol in it!

N:(stops participating in exchange on account of the fact that her brain has exploded)

Z:(with satisfaction) I am the Ray Mears of medicine.

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rainsinger
Aug. 17th, 2007 10:53 am (UTC)
Re: D:
I had to use the 'well your taxes pay for the NHS, if you never see doctors it's like you're wasting your own money'.

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rainsinger
deep sky, firefly

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