April 10th, 2009

i cut you

Local Sainsbury's is to Skanks as honey to the bee

I waited at the till for ten minutes for the woman in front to quit arguing about the price of oranges and stop spewing racist language long enough to hand over £3.02 and move on. She had a half-drunk bottle of wine with her, and whether this contributed significantly to the intense nature of her mental issue I cannot say. Although I did roll my eyes expressively and exchange a sympathetic look with the beleagured cashier. (Oh yes, admire the bold way in which I stand up for ethnic minorities in a public space!)

However, this delay allowed the creature queueing behind me ample time to peruse my own shopping (seedy bread, brown rice, avocados, tiger prawns, organic chicken, spinach and milk) long enough to get a contemptuous running commentary going about "Prawns? Avocados? Oranic chicken? You would never catch ME spending good money on toss like that."

And it took all my self-restraint not to retort "Well you wouldn't catch me spending money on crack."

I could taste how satisfying those words would be, although I could also taste what it would feel to get punched in the face so I judged it wise to desist.

My unlived life is Adventurous and Bold. Oh Yis,Phear Me!