March 16th, 2009

fossil

This post is demeaning to language development and underpants

If I see another newspaper headline along the lines of : Jade Goody - last hours I am going to growl at someone. Will they ever leave the woman alone and stop afixing poignant, and touching to every single thing that she does? Ghouls.

Matei has some kind of rash and fever-inducing virus, which he has kindly passed along to me (babies are worse than rats when it comes to spreading disease) and I am feeling closer to death than usual today. I have retaliated by wearing my ultimate comfort outfit: black hoodie, jeans, Rocker Hello Kitty T-shirt and childish socks with unicorns on. I also have bitchin' new glasses.

I have taught Matei to say "bum" and "underpants" which are in our language fairly simple words beginning with a guh sound which he has been practising diligently over the last two days. He is totally in love with these words and has been chanting "underpants underpants" to himself the last 15 minutes.

He has taught himself to pick up bits of fluff and cat hair off the floor and turn them into the nearest adult in return for praise and applause. However, the last few days he has been going directly to the source and plucking handfuls of hair off the actual cats and then toddling over to us with the loot, radiant with his own cleverness.

The boy is an applause-junkie. He has learned how to clap and now claps every single time he is proud of something he has done and looks offended if you don't join him. On the other hand he is prepared to give as good as he gets, and offered me extravagant praise and applause when he watched me unload the dishwasher. This is exactly the same attitude I have been trying to instill in Z, but without success so far.

Today my mothering techniques have mainly involved lying in his playpen like roadkill while he bangs my head with some plush toys. I am tired, tired, tired. Have pity, send biscuits.