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In sickness and in health

I can't believe I am about to say this, but after only three days off work with disease and injury I am growing bored of daytime telly. I feel like a woman who gets to move in with her idolised first crush only to discover that they're not all you thought them to be. It's a terrible letdown and I hope you never have to go through it.

On the other joyous hand I have had the pleasure of watching a tape of Z's childhood which in terms of entertainment value is worth its weight in gold several times over. It was filmed in the early 70s using the cutting edge technology of the time, the 5 minute films you had to project onto a screen from the big reel. I don't know what the English word for it is but in Yug, they are called Super 8s.

Anyway, several years of Z's camera happy parents have yielded a shoebox full of the little things which translates into hours of viewing pleasure. It is brilliant on so many levels that the only thing which prevented me from laughing outloud was the fact that my throat was so sore I could hardly swallow.

Z's parents recorded anything they wanted to commemorate, and the tape runs kind of like this:

- Baby! [The first year of Z's sister meticulously recorded]
-Some pigs being slaughtered
- Second Baby! [much shorter footage this time, I think the novelty with the second child wearing off - and lil Z looking like Chemotherapy Homunculus owing to the fact that he had not a single hair on his head, including eyelashes and eyebrows]
-Some pigs being roasted on the spit
-Family holidays
-Z jumping around on any surface he could stand up on
-Some ladies with impressive bosoms
-Some childrens birthdays [in practice, a lot of children jumping up and down on each other while the adults eat, drink and make merry]
-Some ladies with impressive arm hair
-A whole assortment of Communist Era curtains and wallpapers
- Z sporting not just a milk moustache, but also a milk monobrow [and by this time some lovely tumbling locks]
- Children tumbling around in the snow
-Children tumbling around in the rain
-A dancing lady with big bosoms
- Z chasing: the budgie, the dog, his dad and a whole variety of ladies whose skirts he kept trying to lift and look up.
- Chickens being slaughtered
-Children eating roast pig
-Curvy ladies frolicking in the sea
-Grim-faced children swimming like they are one step away from drowning
- Z running around like a thing posessed and trying to push adults into the water.
- Toddler Z and sister in a kayak and Z accidentally whacking his father on the head with an oar
- Very svelte, slender ladies in bikinis
- Z and sister pulling faces at the camera.

and so on and so forth.

N: It's a good thing that you were such a cute kid because you were a right little terrorist.
Z: I was just high spirited!
N: I'm not having your babies unless there is a legal way we can have them sedated.

Speaking of Z's family, we drove up to Manchester a couple of weekends back to visit his mum, his sister and his two nephews [the second of which is three months old]. His family were very sweet, even though I soon found out that it was a mistake to ask his mother any question at all as it would provide a half hour answer, and being starved for adult conversation she'd take to clearing her smoker's lung in front of the door to our room in the mornings you know in case we happeend to wake up and want to go out and talk.

The kids were sweet, and Z's mother entertained herself by handing me the baby every couple of hours with exclamations such as "Oh! Now that looks so good on you! - as though the baby were a handbag- and I'd entertain myself by handing the baby to Z who would have the look of a man left holding a live grenade.

Actually I warmed to the baby a lot. It was an easily satisfied infant who did not ask any tiresome questions and besides which it fascinated me by being one of the ugliest children I had ever come across. Poor baby. It made up for its lack of chin with its oversize nose, and its bulbous little eyes, and the lack of hair on top of its head was balanced out by long hair in the back. To sum it up it looked like a miniature Boldrick. With a mullet. I spent many content hours cooing into its unfortunate little face.

Overall it was fun though. It's always instructive to meet your partner's family and study them for signs of worrying mental disorder.

And Z himself seems to have left the evil dictatorial ways of his childhood behind and while I've been ill he has been wonderful: cradling me between coughing fits, driving to Barnet to feed the cat and then driving back to my house to soothe my delusional fevered brow and make me warm drinks and bring me plastic basins to throw up in. The stuff of scintillating romance I'm sure you'll agree. The stuff of legend and smouldering sheets.

I am getting better now though, slowly climbing back into the hallowed states of not hacking up half a lung every time I open my mouth. And though a few days off work is good for the soul [I feel that all the hours of not being screamed at by my boss really benefit the ole nervous system], I am full of woe and regret for all that I have missed during my pox. Such as your LJs and tubewalks, and tjej's birthday for example.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
dubaiyan
Oct. 31st, 2005 04:18 pm (UTC)
injury? :((
Ah your boss screams at you too?

Nano tmrw *terror*
rainsinger
Oct. 31st, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC)
Re: injury? :((
Injury - I slipped in some beer at a gig on Wednesday and seriously damaged my ability to walk, although I could lurch with the best of them :)

My boss is a very fiery woman, whose idea of motivation is generally to tell you that you are lazy and useless and that it's unaccaptable, and to shout whenever she feels frustrated. What's your one's excuse?

And as for Nano I think I'm not doing it this year. :( I feel so cruddy and I haven't the faintest idea of a story outline. Shame though. I used to love Nano, but nowadays I feel like my brain is dead. But who knows I might change my mind and give it a shot yet!

Have you any idea of what you're going to be doing?
dubaiyan
Oct. 31st, 2005 04:50 pm (UTC)
no excuse
She was crying and went "Just leave me ALONE!" and since then things have been kind of strained because although she apologised I'm beginning to loathe her. Chiefly because she's all sweetness to, and makes an effort to converse with, the part-time person [who's on a permanent contract], but me - who's full-time and does all the work but is leaving next Sept - I'm beneath her notice. Bitch. My landlady said to rise above it :(

My Nano universe

Besides I decided how to play it on my way back from our Nano group's Halloween meet, which rocks.
elethe
Oct. 31st, 2005 04:19 pm (UTC)
Called Super 8 here too. My parents have footage of me as a two-year-old running around and around a big bushy tree in the back garden. Of course the projector broke and my dad got bored of the hobby, so I haven't seen any of the footage for a long while. Since I was about three in fact.
rainsinger
Oct. 31st, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC)
Oh that's a shame!
Childhood footage is fun, and it's nice to have a record of those things unless it's a record of things like a *child masturbating on the beach* or something.

And your toddler self sounds cute. I love the stage when human children [human children I am not responsible for] discover that they are able to run and then suddenly they can't get enough of it, and they're unstoppable.
smallblakflower
Oct. 31st, 2005 05:20 pm (UTC)
Actually I warmed to the baby a lot. It was an easily satisfied infant who did not ask any tiresome questions and besides which it fascinated me by being one of the ugliest children I had ever come across. Poor baby. It made up for its lack of chin with its oversize nose, and its bulbous little eyes, and the lack of hair on top of its head was balanced out by long hair in the back. To sum it up it looked like a miniature Boldrick. With a mullet. I spent many content hours cooing into its unfortunate little face.

Oh my, how much i laughed at the above..... *snorts*
rainsinger
Oct. 31st, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
Teee heee heee :D

It really was an infant of a spectacular ugliness. Fortunately it had a good character.
kesstrel
Oct. 31st, 2005 10:02 pm (UTC)
that got me too. I just had to clean a fine mist of tea spray off my monitor...

:)
mockduck
Oct. 31st, 2005 05:31 pm (UTC)
I bet that baby's mother thinks it's the prettiest baby in the world.
rainsinger
Oct. 31st, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
Probably :) Love is funny that way.

Although I've known a few mothers [my aunt for instance, and my mother] who stated flatly that their children were ugly [and with good reason, in the case of my cousin].

Although the moral of the story is that often what makes an ugly baby [a disproportionately large nose for instance] suddenly is transformed into the features of a beautiful child. And conversely, I've known babies who looked like angels until adolescence exploded into them.

But really, character counts for a lot. The prettiness of a baby is not a factor in determening its appeal or its cuteness.
lillfive5
Oct. 31st, 2005 06:27 pm (UTC)
"Oh! Now that looks so good on you! - as though the baby were a handbag

But did it go with your shoes??

I'm sorry you're feeling so crappy lately :( Here's to a speedy recovery and more entertaining Super 8s and good television.
adizzi
Nov. 1st, 2005 12:26 am (UTC)
the summary of the film is precious - your voice is hilarious.
birdie1986
Nov. 1st, 2005 01:35 am (UTC)
have missed reading about the goings on in your life
hope you feel muchos better soon
*k*
mindslant
Nov. 16th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
Poor Ugly Baby :)
Life's not going to be getting easier :). I came to write Haiku's about how you've seemingly gone away, only to discover it's because I don't login enough.

But I've not seen you in a while so I'm estatic. Also, don't you hate people who's biggest problem in life is lovers who want to whisk them away to Paris for free when your weekly highlight is racist drug-addicts offering me free cases of condiments.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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