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Please Sir, Could I have some Porn?

Hahahhahaha, too good not to share really.

Today I was running around my birth town, trying to resign myself to the fact that I'll need to be on medication for the next two years and distracting myself from that fact by shopping for Noblice and DVDs.

The newsagents in Belgrade are the most delightful institutions. Because there alongside with magazines, and chocolates and chewing gum and bus tickets you can also buy condoms and shampoo and DVDs which cost about 2 quid each [no guarantee they'll be willing to play mind you, but they were new so I took the chance].

And it was while I was divesting myself of my savings for purposes of entertainment that I came across a DVD of adult material titled Runaway Butts 5. As you might imagine I was instantly captivated by the title.

I mean, who wouldn't be? It's Runaway Butts! The fifth installment no less! It leads to so many burning questions. Who are they running from? Who are they running to? What happened in the previous four episodes? It's the butts that can't be caught! They just keep on running away!

So naturally I felt that I must own this piece of joy forthwith. And imagine my consternation when the newsagent man refused to sell it to me.
"It's not nice, sweetheart." he said to me. Several replies went along through my head such as "But Sir, I like it." and "Really, it's for my boyfriend" but I said nothing, and slunk away in defeat.

But then imagine the burn of unsatisfied curiosity! All the burning possibilities of runaway derrieres!

So off I went, to another newsagent, and slunk about looking at magazines while I gathered up my courage. I almost gave up, but rallied, and bravely presented myself at the counter with some carrot juice and when he asked "Anything else?", I firmly said "Yes. One copy of Runaway Butts 5, please".

A simple enough request one might think, but no! For this man also took it upon himself to try to talk me out of it.
"You can't be serious neighbour lady, he said.
I am totally serious neighbour man, I said.
Why would you want to watch that sort of thing? he countered
How could I not? said I. I mean come on, it's Runaway Butts! Number 5! It's the Butts that can't stay put, how can one NOT want to know what happens?
I see your point, conceded he and off I went with my prize and I've been in a state of excitement and consternation ever since.

I am puzzled. Why do people not want to sell me pron? Do I not look like a consenting adult? Is all of Yugoslavia current and ex, really just an extension of my father?
Will the Runaway Butts ever stop running?

So many questions. I'm dying to know.

Comments

failmaster
Jul. 18th, 2005 10:10 pm (UTC)
A little searching on IMDB suggests that there are at least 7 Runaway Butts titles available to date, so viewing part 5 in isolation you will doubtless lose-out on many of the nuances of the character development that has taken place in the earlier episodes, while the intricacies of the complex and inter-woven ongoing plot-arcs likewise won't be brought to a satisfying resolution.

The cynic in me can't help but suspect that while undoubtedly a cinematic mastuerpiece, your purchase isn't quite going to be the most intellectually challenging (or indeed erotically stimulating) work currently available on the medium of the Digital Versatile Disc. :)

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rainsinger
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