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Grief Practitioner

Today has started out as a pretty dreadful day.

In the morning a very dear friend rang in distress because her mother is very very ill which propelled me from semi-asleep to full alertness like a shot of adrenaline.

Then I went back to my GP, who was even less helpful and I'm starting to feel more and more despair.
Apparently X-rays take *3 to 4 weeks* to come back, and when I explained that I was told 7-10 days 17 days ago he said he'd put the secretary on it and I should ring tomorrow afternoon.

He explained that *there's not much they can do* - well gee great, but it doesn't solve the fact that I can't do anything either.

I was doing my best to explain that a) I've been in pain, to various degrees and intensities for a month now b) i have no idea what to do c) my job involves a lot of walking and lifting up children and I haven't a clue whether these things are beneficial or detrimental d) I can do less and less, and doing any activity in the evening requires a rest after work e) I'm feeling increasingly depressed.

I don't think any of it sunk in. He just kind of nodded and hummed and wrote me a prescription for antihistamines.

I certainly didn't feel listened to, or valued and he didn't really answer my questions. I just felt like I was told I was being a pain and should just buzz off and die somewhere, but quietly please *because we've done all the tests and really it's your tough luck that you're still in pain and we've seen you quite frequently over the last few weeks*.

I'm still angry and upset, and I've given up being stoical so I just cried at the busstop while waiting for the 187 [queue helpful comment from old man: *cheer up, I'm sure it will come soon love*] and then kept sobbing for the next 30 minutes all the way into work.

However, so as not to end on such an unhappy note - after blithely dismissing things I was saying the GP smiled brightly at me saying
"But don't forget - if you need us, we'll be right here for you"
which I rate 10 out of 10 for comedy value.


Jun. 4th, 2005 10:18 am (UTC)
thank you :)


deep sky, firefly

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