deep sky, firefly (rainsinger) wrote,
deep sky, firefly

  • Mood:

Grief Practitioner

Today has started out as a pretty dreadful day.

In the morning a very dear friend rang in distress because her mother is very very ill which propelled me from semi-asleep to full alertness like a shot of adrenaline.

Then I went back to my GP, who was even less helpful and I'm starting to feel more and more despair.
Apparently X-rays take *3 to 4 weeks* to come back, and when I explained that I was told 7-10 days 17 days ago he said he'd put the secretary on it and I should ring tomorrow afternoon.

He explained that *there's not much they can do* - well gee great, but it doesn't solve the fact that I can't do anything either.

I was doing my best to explain that a) I've been in pain, to various degrees and intensities for a month now b) i have no idea what to do c) my job involves a lot of walking and lifting up children and I haven't a clue whether these things are beneficial or detrimental d) I can do less and less, and doing any activity in the evening requires a rest after work e) I'm feeling increasingly depressed.

I don't think any of it sunk in. He just kind of nodded and hummed and wrote me a prescription for antihistamines.

I certainly didn't feel listened to, or valued and he didn't really answer my questions. I just felt like I was told I was being a pain and should just buzz off and die somewhere, but quietly please *because we've done all the tests and really it's your tough luck that you're still in pain and we've seen you quite frequently over the last few weeks*.

I'm still angry and upset, and I've given up being stoical so I just cried at the busstop while waiting for the 187 [queue helpful comment from old man: *cheer up, I'm sure it will come soon love*] and then kept sobbing for the next 30 minutes all the way into work.

However, so as not to end on such an unhappy note - after blithely dismissing things I was saying the GP smiled brightly at me saying
"But don't forget - if you need us, we'll be right here for you"
which I rate 10 out of 10 for comedy value.
Tags: angst, body wonk
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.