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make tea, not love

Oh my God.
I have had many and varied experiences of assault upon my person, but I believe the one today tops the lot

For today, my dears, on the bus I got punched in the eye by An OLD LADY. Although technically speaking she punched me in the glasses. I am willing to believe it was an accident, although I feel that on deeper levels a number of sinister behaviours may be expected from people who put purple rinse on their sparse hair.

It was one of those life moments where something so surreal, so bizzarre comes your way that logic and reason seem no use at all, but amusent is handy.
I sat holding my hand over my wounded eye and shook with laughter [because sometimes, really, you just have to] while all the remaining people on the bus scanned me for signs of hysteria.

The sum of it all is that the glasses are fine, I'm fine, but my left eye hurts a bit and I'm reeling in a slightly shocked way that comes from wondering if you're living in a Monty Python movie.
I must say for an old person she packs quite a wallop.
Don't trust old people. They lie about being cold and frail and not having any food - it's because they blow all their pension money down at the gym.

If you think about it, being an old person means they've had more time to become criminal.


It's inspired me to make this, although it's not nearly as good as offensive_mango's one.


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 19th, 2005 12:02 pm (UTC)
Did you criticise her dress-sense or something?
Apr. 19th, 2005 12:04 pm (UTC)
no! i didn't say a word! not even about the purple rinse!
i just smiled at her!

[and i'm not ruling out that it could have been an accident]
Apr. 19th, 2005 12:25 pm (UTC)
It sounds accidental. Cos if she'd meant it, she'd have followed up with a roundhouse kick to the throat.

Old women can do that, they have bionic hips specially implanted.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 19th, 2005 12:53 pm (UTC)
awwww dude, how horrible.

Apr. 19th, 2005 12:56 pm (UTC)
I want a poster that says 'It's not rude to hit old people', please

Jolly good story though. I'm sorry about your eye but it gave me something to chuckle over as I nibbled on my sandwich.
Apr. 19th, 2005 03:03 pm (UTC)
That's insane? What on earth made her do that!? You need to move up north lady.
Apr. 19th, 2005 05:37 pm (UTC)
Gospode Boze draga, nadam se najiskrenije da si dobro.
Strasno je to sta se desava, ovo ti nije prvi put.
I pre su te oni mladici udarili ako se dobro secam.
Ako takvih slucajeva bude vise, Beograd ti je i srcem i dusom otvoren i stoji ti na raspolaganju da se vratis u njega kad god zazelis.
Nadam se da ti je oko dobro i da nemas vece povrede.
Znam da si bila u soku, posto je i mene sinoc jedna zena gurnula na vratima kada smo izlazile iz busa, ali ovaj put sam se okrenula i rekla POLAKO, BRE! Ja-ovako sitna, gde i dete moze da me prebije. Posle sam se opet korenula i odmahivala glavom u znak negodovanja i coktala, a ona me je gledala kao da sam joj najgori neprijatelj na svetu. Znam da je tesko, ali nekad moras odreagovati, makar digni frku (jer sam sigurna da je to jos neko primetio).
Puno te volim i ljubim
Apr. 19th, 2005 07:09 pm (UTC)
omfg! *is scared of being blinded by splintered glasses* Plastic lenses??
Apr. 20th, 2005 12:19 am (UTC)
Argh! Give her an ASBO!
Apr. 20th, 2005 08:28 am (UTC)

Oh my God!!!

That's outrageous! It's so unfair, how do you get into these scrapes? Funny take on it though, you're right it's possibly accidental and you were right to laugh. You can't just whisk around and backhand her in the face and follow up with an enormous wedgie. At least not in public.

I'd find out where she lives and eek out RE-VEN-Gé.

very funny take on it though! great story.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )


deep sky, firefly

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