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I'll start with the silver linings

Today two positive events occurred.
I got a book I'd ordered from Amazon well over two weeks ago through the post, as well as a check from Liverpool HOusing Trust for £60 (my deposit, returned in full).

Money always makes me highly happy, although in this instance this joy was tempered by the fact that having reached down to pick up the envelope I found that I could not get up again because my back had gone into a very severe spasm. In fact, the only thing I ended up doing was being able to lie down on my side on the floor. at least I was able to read the book (the Feast of All Saints by Anne Rice, it really is very good) while waiting for the spasm to ease, and when it let up a bit, I was well enough to crawl around until I found some handy furniture to help me get back on my feet.

I've been trying to do a Derren-Brownesque feat of suggestion on my spine : *when i open my eyes you will feel perfectly well and the body will be agile and pain free* but I guess I am not suggestible enough because so far it has NOT worked.

I haven't told my family about how bad my back is mostly because they were going to yell at me, or fuss, or be generally unhelpful and this is not conductive to recovery. It is embarassing enough having to crawl around your own flat and eat off the top of the microwave (because then i can comfortably eat standing up when the plate is at that height) wihtout having relatives looking on/shouting.

One or the other is going to chorsu *I told you so!* (because I haven't covered my kidneys, or because my bag is too heavy, or because I don't go to Pilates blah blah blah there is always some reason, that they predicted, that they knew and I ingrate that I am didn't listen and do backflips of joy over).

My body is giving me a fairly strict list of what I can and cannot do. No sudden moves. Don't bend backwards. Don't sit up. Whenever possible use the strength in the arms to move around. Keep all the movements as fluid as possible. Bend from the knees, not the waist. if you must bend move one leg behidn you to help keep balance and keep back straight. i think to the uninitiated observer it would seem as though I was engaged in a really weird slow-motion ballet.

note to self: sneezing is an incredibly painful thing. do not do it.



( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 5th, 2003 10:29 am (UTC)
Thanks Sweetling :D

Both are gratefully accepted.

mewl mewl mewl mewl mewl (would be the noises of me feeling sorry for myself)
Nov. 6th, 2003 04:35 am (UTC)
I've been trying to do a Derren-Brownesque feat of suggestion on my spine

'Look at the hands, the hands, the hands, the eyes, the hands,

you're under'

Basic psychological principle is not reknowned for it's chiropractic properties.

Hot bath + Salt + time + hanging off of things might help...

pull ups - if you have anything you can do a pull up on - just grab it and hang off, take all the weight off the lower spine and let it stretch gently to the pull of gravity.

Anne Rice has done well for someone who has written the same book a dozen times.
Nov. 6th, 2003 05:24 am (UTC)
More on the sub-atomic structure of a quark...
But in 12 varied and fascinating ways...
Switch to Clive Barker, if anything it'll at least make you realise how lucky you are that YOU were created with your spine on the inside...don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm afraid I don't have a miracle cure to offer bad backs, they are very VERY frustrating but I DO have something interesting to say about astral travel !
a friend told me he used to experience it a lot of the time (i didn't use the term astral travel I simply described the situation to him and he answered) when he was a teen-anger
and he used to visualise (or "picture" to be a little less New Age) himself drowning and he found it easy to drift off after that. And this is a very serious cynical capric talking, not given to silliness at all. So I was intrigued to hear about his experience - the drowning thing shocked me just a little bit though, maybe in his mind it's a gentle slowing down of the breathing as if you were drifting down away from the surface or something - that type image. Drowning I think i generally picture being drowned, or some other violent image, succumbing. That's more for your mental textbook on me Rainsinger - you know I love being Psychoanal-led by you. Dare I suspect the feeling is reciprocal ?

my wrist is fucked up after i bashed it down on a table repeatedly (until it hurt too much and I changed hands and started with the other one - Lune en belier, c'est pas la fete tous les jours, faut pas croire) in a fit of rage against a member of my family...but I have learned something today :
"Never hit something that is harder than you are"

It sounds obvious but I'm going to try and abide by it for a while.
(double meaning too...t'as vu ?)


My wrist fucking hurts man.
Nov. 6th, 2003 07:23 am (UTC)
Re: More on the sub-atomic structure of a quark...
"Never hit something that is harder than you are"

The inestimable wisdom of the follwoing statement is eternally ineffable {or somesuch other longwinded way of saying true}

The ground will always be harder than you;)
Nov. 7th, 2003 08:56 am (UTC)
Re: More on the sub-atomic structure of a quark...
wow that bit about astral travel & drowning is weird. seems counter-intuitive to me, mostly because I associate drowning with something highly unpleasant, inability to breathe, getting chucked about by the sea and so on....

although I suppose if he views it as surrendering to something much bigger than himself, willingly and freely, then I could see how it would be a *freeing* experience.

and aries moon or no...
I can fully appreciate how one's family can drive one to want to hit things (I've been known to smash my hand into walls and windows post conversations with my mother) although I agree that "Never hit something that is harder than you are" is a splendid maxim.

"That's more for your mental textbook on me Rainsinger - you know I love being Psychoanal-led by you. Dare I suspect the feeling is reciprocal ?"

yes it is :) I always love your take on things, mostly for its strange aquarian thought paths and brilliant (if twisted) logic.

on the subject of which, if you have any ideas as to interpretation of my weird dream I would be deeply interested in hearing it.

you are also very pretty. *strokes the leonine ego and sends healing vibes to your wrist*
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


deep sky, firefly

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