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Because I can't sleep AGAIN, and because ladybug218 wrote these:

When you were a child...

1. what did you want to be when you grew up and why?
I had many many many different ambitions when I was a child that ranged from things like *locksmith* to *djigit (pronounced roughly gee-git; Georgian acrobat riders*. But I suppose my first, longest ambition was to be a dancer when I grew up despite the fact that I had no physical co-ordination.
But I do remember adults asking me what I wanted to be and me answering:
"A famous ballerina" and when they asked me How come? I'd just give them a withering look and say:
"Well because you can't honestly think I'd just be ordinary."

2. who was your favorite person to do things with (excluding your parents)?
My grandmother.
And Ana, my childhood best friend - the only person whose harebrained schemes could match my own.

3. did you love school or did you hate it? Why? Did that change as you got older?
I did not like school.
On my first day of school, I remember telling my mother in a shocked voice: *That's not a nice place. No one was pleased to see me.* and then categorically refusing to do any homework for a year because: "As far as I'm concerned, just going to school is enough of a commitment on my part. I refuse to have my playtime shortened further by homework. So I'm telling you now that I've made a firm decision not to do any."

In Yug we had 40+ children in a class. I did not, (as my maths teacher kept writing on my report cards) "fit into the collective" and unless something interested me, I would not do it (failing to present day). The only class I enjoyed was Serb because we got to write there. Our teachers by and large were there to deliever a syllabus, not to work with the improvement of our minds, or stimulate and draw us out in any way.

I didn't hate school (after all, it was as good a place to daydream as any and it provided a sterling opportunity to crack jokes and come up with harebrained schemes with my classmates, and the fact that I was very clever compensated for the fact that I didn't want to study, and I liked pleasing my teachers) but it didn't really stimulate me in any way.

This only changed after I came to Holland/England and not only were the classes much smaller than what I was used to, but there was also a lot more emphasis on creativity and I took to that like duck to water. The stuff we studied was actually interesting, so I responded by being interested in it and putting in the effort - also because by then I was universally loathed and bullied and ridiculed by my classmates (mostly for where I came from) or accused of masterminding genocide in Bosnia - so instead I turned my efforts into developing my relationships with teachers, and with work since that seemed more rewarding.

4. was your family close? What were your favorite family traditions?
It's hard to say. I think they were mostly *close* in the sense of wild co-dependence, and my grandmother's possessiveness. I think the fact that they shared a similar set of sorrows united my parents, and I was very close to my grandmother (partially because she sabotaged all my other relationships to make sure I didn't love anyone but her) and I adored my father. However, as a family we had rifts running through the size of geological faults.

Favourite family traditions: hmmmmm. New Year was usually a very good time, as was going fishing with my Dad and summers in Montenegro.

5. did you think that being an adult would be cool?
I thought it would be scary and unimaginable until my dad died and I was forced to move countries to places where I did not speak the language or have anyone to support and protect me, and then I wanted to be an adult because I wanted to move away from the terrible vulnerability and uncertainty of being a child as soon as possible.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 22nd, 2004 07:15 pm (UTC)
Wow... it sounds as if you had a very interesting and difficult childhood.


From what I know of you, you've definitely overcome it.
Oct. 22nd, 2004 08:32 pm (UTC)
a good thing about my life/childhood is that I've certainly never been bored... ;)
Thank you :)

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


deep sky, firefly

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