http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021113.html

NYU girl #1: You're smoking again. You're a smoker.
NYU girl #2: No I'm not! I only smoke when I'm stressed out in New York.
NYU girl #1: (blank stare)
NYU girl #2, realizing: Shit.

--Washington Square Park

Overheard by: ...shit.

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021112.html

Voter-pusher guy: Remember to vote this Monday!
Voter-pusher girl: It's on Tuesday!
Voter-pusher guy: Thursday! Vote on Thursday!

--23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Adam

Anyone got any home remedies for ringworm that will work on both a cat and a not-quite-three month old? I just noticed that the cat had a couple little bald patches on his head, then a few minutes later I see the little ring on my poor baby. I'm freaking out a bit, I'm a little new at this mommy thing, and I'm also flat broke right now, so if there are no other solutions I can take the boy to the doc, but there is no way I can afford a vet trip. I'm grateful for any help or suggestions you have, also, sorry if you see this more than once, I cross-posted a bit.

The Christmas cupcake challenge was a blast!

( cupcake p0rn )

( red velvet cupcakes - an entry by sincerely yours )

I have been trying to transition my son from a soft spout sippy cup to are hard spout one. I know he can drink out of the hard spout ones, but he get really frustrated. I let him have a break from the hard spout ones a few weeks ago and I probably shouldn't have done that ( ::headdesk:: )

Currently we have these :
http://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Mighty-Spill-Proof-Sippy/dp/B001THVDSQ/ref=sr_1_26?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1260222870&sr=1-26

They are all broken now because he has been chewing on them due to teething.

We also have these:
http://www.amazon.com/Playtex-Insulator-Twist-Click-Spout/dp/B001UFWGRY/ref=pd_bxgy_ba_text_c

My question for you wise Mamas out there is this: Is there an in-between kind of cup I can purchase? One that's not too soft, but not too hard?

If I can get a couple tonight at Target or ship them fast from Amazon that would be a big plus! :)

TIA!

Somebody invent the magical paci duck tape already!

For reals -- at what point do they figure out how to keep the paci in their mouth for longer than 30 seconds? My eldest never took a pacifier, so I honestly don't know what to expect here. And bb is trying desperately to get her thumb in her mouth, but since said thumb is still tucked securely into her fist, she either hits herself in the nose, or just sucks on her fist which doesn't seem to do much by way of soothing. But holy cow, put her down when she's all sleepy and mostly asleep....and 10 seconds later paci falls out and she's hysterical.

To cheer myself up in my long, dark afternoon of the soul yesterday, I bought a big bunch of yellow and orange gerberas on the way home from work, and then when I got home I found that all the bean and corn seeds in my mini-greenhouse had sprung up during the day. So that was very exciting, and I'm over my existential angst. I'm easily pleased. As long as I'm not socialising with people I'm not actually sure I like, I'm dandy.

When I went to buy the paper this morning, two teenage girls were there, both wearing pink camouflage pants. What sort of terrain would that disguise them in, do you think? I'd like to see a sort of Black Hawk Down-style film about an assault on Fairy Floss Mountain.

The local paper's front page headline this morning screamed:

MAYOR NEOH A LAY DOWN MAZAIRE FOR RE-ELECTION

Sadly, they've corrected it online to the more commonly-used spelling 'misère', but I've still got the hard copy to treasure.

Also, somehow all my shoes are strewn around my bedroom floor. Perhap an elf comes into my house while I'm at work and does it. That's the only explanation I can think of.

Oh, and thank you to atlantel and miss_daizy for the snowflakes. They'll be the only snowflakes I see this summer. :-)

I posted yesterday about my kids getting up at insane hours to watch TV and got some really great responses! Thank you all for your insights!

I thought some of you might like an update. After being loud and generally ruckusy all day long yesterday, and skipping the nap that I gave them (rather the oldest skipped the nap and woke the youngest up to - guess! - watch TV!) while I napped, I sat down with my oldest and had a very long conversation with him. He was upset because I made him miss Spongebob.

Is there a Mrs. Piggle Wiggle for this??

Anyway, we talked and I listed my four concerns: 1) How can he entertain himself quietly without waking his sister; 2) How can we keep him in bed til 6 am; 3)What should the consequences be for waking his sister; and 4) What should the consequences be for getting out of bed early. Just to make sure he was absolutely clear, I drew him pictures of clocks with various times, and reiterated that if the hour number is not 6 or 7 and it's dark outside, it's time to go back to sleep. He came up with some really great contributions, and we agreed to finish the conversation later.

Today, I woke up to tend to my youngest who was freaking about a toy and needed to go potty at 6 am, and my oldest was fast asleep in his bed. Put my youngest back to bed and went back to sleep myself. They came in to wake me up at 7:30, having only just woken up themselves.

7:30!

Almost enough to make me believe in miracles. :)

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021111.html

Woman #1, bumping against woman #2 in stairs: Relax!
Woman #2: You relax!
Woman #1: No, you relax!
Woman #2: You relax!
Woman #1: You have a fat ass!
Woman #2: You need to accept Jesus into your heart!
Woman #1: You have a fat ass!
Woman #2: Accept Christ into your life!

--Yankee Stadium

Complained to the ASA and Boris about that TFL advert for unlicensed rapists, today.

My sister flew from Chicago for our Mom's annual holiday candy making party. Sis’s flight home was at 3 pm on Sunday so we decided to get brunch and my sis's and son's first Santa pic. We arrived at the mall a tad after 11:00 am and were overjoyed that there was only three families in line!

Sis assured me Santa took credit/debit cards and sure enough, a middle aged suburban elf greeted us at the desk. Sis and I debated on what package (yes, santa now has "packages") and decide on the digital package and some pics. I ask suburban elf if I can get digital package and two pics printed. NO. You can only order packages, no single pics.

Fine. We pick two packages. I hand over the credit card and plan on eating 50 dolla for santa pics and notice another family was taken into Santa. Now only 2 families in line! Suburban elf then asks for our reservation.... What? A reservation? FOR SANTA? Suburban elf then points and says "all those people behind you have an 11:20 appointment." There are three families behind me and it is 11:10 am. I ask if we can get in line behind the reservation people.

NO. NO. Suburban Elf informs us she can book us to see Santa at 12:00, which was useless since my sis had to catch her flight. So we did what we had to do, even though sis was being shifty eyed looking for mall security.
( Read more... )

Santa was in good spirits, and waived when I yelled, "waive santa." Sis, Ari and I then spent the 50 dolla on bloody marys and crab hash. Merry Christmas!

My daughter is almost 2.5 and I just wanted to know if she is at the "normal" stage for her speech development.
She says No (what 2-year-old doesn't know that one?), yeah, mama, daddy, hello, peas (for please), Ferfer (her name is River) and Lolo (her sister is Willow) and she calls her little brother baby Oreo (his name is Rowan). Her word for water is "di-di" because I kept asking her if she was thirsty and that's what stuck. Ba for bath, num-num for food (we're trying to teach her the word food), and ju for juice.
She can copy most sounds pretty well.

That being said, her fine/gross motor skills are intense. This morning she picked the lock of my bedroom with a small hair clip. (The reason I was in my room with the door locked was because I was trying not to let her see me snort my blow, I would hate for her to develop that habit.) She also took a coin from my bedside table, locked my door and then closed it with her on the other side and picked the lock with the coin she had taken. (My husband and I are considering getting her a lock set for Christmas so she can practice picking locks for a high life in crime.)
My mother-in-law took her to a Christmas party yesterday and there was a child psychologist there who mentioned that she was blown away that River could string beads onto a string with such precision.
She is an absolute monkey and climbs on everything.

I just wanted to know if she is too far behind on her speech or if this is sort of normal considering how good she is with the physical development.
(I heard somewhere that usually kids are either better at speech than fine/gross motor skills or vice versa.)

The long-continued use of tea has a distinct effect upon the character. This has been too often noticed and remarked to be questioned. There are tea-sots in every great charitable institution - particularly those for the maintenance of the aged. Their symptoms are generally mental irritability, muscular tremors and sleeplessness. The following is an account of one of the cases observed. The immediate effects upon him are as follows: In about ten minutes the face becomes flushed, the whole body feels warm and heated and a sort of intellectual intoxication comes on, much the same in character, it would seem, as that which occurs in the rarefied air of a mountain. He feels elated, exhilarated, troubles and cares vanish, everything seems bright and cheerful, his body feels light and elastic, his mind clear, his ideas abundant, vivid and flowing fluently into words. At the end of an hour's tasting a slight reaction begins to set in; some headache comes on, the face feels wrinkled and shrivelled, particularly about the eyes, which also get dark under the lids. At the end of two hours this reaction becomes firmly established, the flushed warm feeling has passed off, the hands and feet are cold, a nervous tremor comes on, accompanied with great mental depression. And he is now so excitable that every noise startles him; he is in a state of complete unrest; he can neither walk nor sit down, owing to his mental condition, and he settles into complete gloom. Copious and frequent urinations are always present, as also certain dyspeptic symptoms, such as eructations of wind, sour taste, and others. His mental condition in peculiar. He lives in a state of dread that some accident may happen to him; in the omnibus fears a collision; crossing the street, fears that he will be crushed by passing teams; walking on the sidewalks, fears that a sign may falls, or watches the eaves of houses, thinking that a brick may fall down and kill him; under the apprehension that every dog he meets is going to bite the calves of his legs, he carries an umbrella in all weathers as a defence against such an attack.

- At Swim-Two-Birds, Flann O'Brien

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/021110.html

Store clerk to ice cream delivery guy: So you a Yankee fan? You excited?
Delivery man: Nah, I'm actually a Phillies fan. These last two weeks it's like I'm the only white guy in a KFC, know what I'm sayin'?

--Astoria

Overheard by: Arun

Hello, booklovers. I have a feeling that mine is not an altogether right way of stepping here, but I do need some help from people who might be willing to provide it.
The thing is I have written a book. Yes, yes, I’m laughing myself. Nonetheless, please, do save your sense of humour for when you start reading it. Being a self-publishing writer, however – atrociously sad world, this one! – I am currently looking for several volunteers to proofread what my insolence considers as a work a merit. Don’t let the word “proofreading” scare you though. I don’t mean ‘editing’ it professionally, just seeing that the wording is in conformity with standard British English.
I hope my appeal for help does not hurt anybody’s feelings. If it does, I sincerely apologise.
For the same reason of being a self-publishing comrade, the only remuneration I am able to offer will be a free copy of the book along with your name in its Special Thanks list. Not very much, I know. I would LOVE to pay for proofing services, but self-publishing means you put your money into having your work published, but you very seldom make profits. I haven’t been one of those lucky guys.
If you’re curious, intrigued and tickled by any other feeling, you are more than welcome to visit the homepage of the future book, ‘The Red Britain Chronicles, or 4891: Comrade Cat, the Macho Axe Effect and the Human Gramophone’ at
http://sites.google.com/site/theredbritainchronicles/
where you can read sample chapters hereof and decide if you’d be tempted by my unappealing offer, or not really. I would even go as far as advising you to get acquainted with the sample chapters in the first place so that, one day soon, you do not find yourselves wondering how you could have accepted to proof a book which is poor or not exactly to your taste.
British English as your mother tongue would be sort of a plus in my case. (apologies if I sound in any way condescending or arrogant - I did not mean to sound this way at all!!!!!!!) Thank you for your patience and attention! And an excellent day to everyone!
Alexander
ps. May I ask you to respond to this post by sending me a private message (or ideally reply to my email - theredbritainchronicles@gmail.com ), instead of posting comments?

Hello! This is my first post, and i'm posting a piece i wrote during my Endofyear Exams last year :-)
I'd really love your feedback! thanks in advance

( (ice) )

Raise your hand if you're surprised I forgot something! *looks around at no hands raised* Yeah. Me neither.

There are a few volunteer edits that I forgot to put in the checklist. I know several of you have finished your edits already (and WOW! to that) or have caught up from the previous week, so if you wouldn't mind taking a look at them, that'd be awesome! With the exception of my entry (which I just flat forgot to include), these are all over 2500 words, but they're well worth a read and a closer look from our most excellent team.

( Volunteer edits in here! )

In the absence of actual content (or tiresome self-despairing emo), have a list! These are where I'd do all my Wobsmas shopping if I weren't actually likely to spend all my money on books for myself. Er, like I did the other weekend.

They're practically all within walking distance of my office. So don't get me wrong, local bookshops are great, and I'd generally prefer them if I were living near one (Review in Peckham is my closest, and it's nice, but tiny). Pages in Lower Clapton, or Big Green Bookshop in Wood Green, or Joseph's in Temple Fortune, or Owl Bookshop in Kilburn, or the one in Stoke Newington &c &c &c, but the ones listed below are all ones which are somewhat more comprehensive.

My Favourite London Bookshops (not second-hand)

1. John Sandoe Books (10 Blacklands Terrace, SW3 2SP, website). Okay, this place is lovely and is exactly the kind of thing I'd want as my local bookshop. Sadly it is only a local bookshop for incredibly rich people what can afford to live in Chelsea, and you will overhear quite a few of them with their plummy accents pop by and have a natter with the shop assistants at any given time you might visit. But this is lovely because it is what a bookshop should be. There are piles of books everywhere. The fiction upstairs is on shelves, but in front of them are two more layers of shelves on little rails which you have to heft aside to get to the books behind. Then there are further piles on every surface. The stairs are so narrow I'd be surprised there weren't serious accidents on a regular basis (esp going down to the children's section; poetry is also downstairs, of which they have a huge amount), but they've still managed to cram piles of books along the side of them. And they don't stock any marketing or business books whatsofvckingever.

2. London Review Bookshop (14 Bury Place, WC1A 2JL, website). If you want to find a novel by a slightly obscure writer who just isn't stocked anywhere else, this is the first place to look, generally. If you want to come across something random that's cool, come here too. If you want coffee and a cake, also v good. If you don't want to spend all your money, don't come here.

3. Daunt Books (83 Marylebone High Street, W1U 4QW, website). There are a few branches of this one, but the one on Marylebone High St is the one to go to. Aside from the extensive selection, they also have a huge multi-level space out the back where fiction, non-fiction, travel and maps are organised by country. It's great. Also friendly.

4. Foyle's (113-119 Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0EB, website). Oh, you all know Foyle's, come on. Their smaller branches are kinda beside the point, though the one on the South Bank can be useful since there's very little else to do there except eat food, but they stock a lot.

5. Stanford's (12-14 Long Acre, WC2E 9LP, website). My interest in this one is not really technically the books, it's the maps. Obviously. The many many many lovely maps. Maps. Mmmm, maps. Especially the ones in the basement (London).

Feel free to hit me up with your own favourites.

Hooray!

I’m putting up with Mark Lawson because it’s Alan Bennett he’s talking to this time, an absolute hero of mine, someone Andrew knew I’d like because he’s like Garrison Keillor but he’s also got my old-Yorkshireman aspirational thing going on so it’s hard to imagine anything I’d like better in some ways.

Anyway he just got asked about his “asking a man crawling across a desert whether he wants Perrier or Malvern water” quote and said “It’s absolutely true. Any sex going you go for it! Didn’t really matter what side it was on. There’s been something of both in my life, but not enough of either. But I think most people would say that.”

Oh I love him.