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The Ice

there is a dream i have in which i am trapped in a lake beneath the ice.
i am not dead in my dream, but i am not alive either.
i am paralysed and frozen.
i cannot move.

the lake holds me up and pulls me down.
and always the ice is above me, i can see but not clearly.

i long to touch and be touched but i cannot be reached or found.
my eyes stare straight ahead, at the sunlight and the world and i am consumed by my own unhappiness, by waves of jealousy and rage and grief.

i want to cry out, but no voice coems.

sometimes i see you walking around above the ice of where i am.
you do not try to reach me. partially because you cant.
and my heart thinks it would thaw to hear you pounding, caling out my name, but it probably wouldnt make any difference at all. perhaps i am frozen too much to be resuccitated and any comfort you give would not be enough, it would simply leave a bleak and deeper ache in both of us.

ice hurts. it burns sometimes. you wouldnt think so, but the ice pain sears even long past the point where you think you would be frozen into insensibility.

i want to say your name, i want to hear you say mine, i cannot articulate my need beyond this single cry: Help Me.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
xelocinx
Sep. 25th, 2003 11:28 am (UTC)
and my heart thinks it would thaw to hear you pounding

beautiful
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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