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Matei triptych

Me: Matei, is there anything that you would like me to write in a card for daddy's birthday? Do you have any birthday wishes for him?

Matei: (after a thoughtful pause) Yes, write "Daddy please could you buy me a red Transformer".

Me: Would you like to draw a picture for daddy for his birthday?
Matei Yes.
Me: Do you want to draw a picture of daddy?
Matei: Okay. (He take a piece of paper and begins to draw. He looks critically at me and then adds some pink stripes to the torso of his figure. After anothe critical look the figure gains fingers, and hair.) There, I am finished.
Me: Is that a picture of Daddy?
Matei: (Slowly, and patiently as if talking to the mentally challenged) No Mama, it is a picture of you.
Me: But where is Daddy?
Matei: He is at work.

*******************************

My mum, at dinner: Matei, please eat with a fork.
Matei: (slowly and gravely) Grandmother, you don't know anything about my life.


********************************

In the Nursery, in the morning all the children are sitting in a circle while the teacher counts how many there are. The teacher then holds up the number 24 and asks if any children know which numbers are these. Matei raises his hand to the astonishment of all because all attempts to interest him in numbers have been utter failures.

Teacher: Yes Matei?
Matei: When Anthony dropped all the numbers he was carrying earlier, I had big fun.
(Then he turns to me and says in Serbian, fortunately) I just wanted to fuck with them a little bit.

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
lebeautemps
Dec. 1st, 2011 11:55 am (UTC)
Ha haah! I love this.
spoofed
Dec. 1st, 2011 12:31 pm (UTC)
My mum has a theory that the more challenging a child is in their younger years, the less hassle they give their parents once they become teenagers (she bases this on my brother and I- James was a sod of a kid and an easy teenager, I was a very easy child but apparently the devil incarnate as a yooof). May this be true for you.

(I adore Matei).
jadedlibertine
Dec. 1st, 2011 02:31 pm (UTC)
Matei is amazing, hard work I'm sure but absolutely amazing!
casaubon
Dec. 1st, 2011 03:25 pm (UTC)
Grandmother, you don't know anything about my life.

As an all-purpose dismissal, this is a thing of beauty. :)
askygoneonfire
Dec. 3rd, 2011 12:56 am (UTC)
Here is truth.

"Matei comebacks" would be a self-help bestseller, I think!
guihong
Dec. 1st, 2011 04:09 pm (UTC)
He is the kind of kid you reprimand one minute, then the next minute, you go into another room to laugh until you cry. Then you tell us so we can laugh with tears down our cheeks.

He's a very special child.

prophetessamy
Dec. 1st, 2011 08:47 pm (UTC)
oh my god, this kid. Love it.
nogbad_the_bad
Dec. 2nd, 2011 03:02 am (UTC)
Please can I adopt him?!
yiskah
Dec. 2nd, 2011 08:10 am (UTC)
Oh my god, I ADORE your son.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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