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Having experimented with lying, my son has now taken up blackmail and extortion.

Like so:
M stubs his toe hard, and understandably yowls. I comfort him and wipe away his lake of tears and finally ask whether a sweet might make waiting for the pain to pass more bearable. M tearfully allows that it might. Calm is restored and off he goes to play. Five minutes later he comes back in, wailing and holding his elbow.

"Awww, sweetheart, do you want me to kiss it better?"
"NO! Only sweets!"

And so:

Z and I are in bed, sleeping. We have had a hard night of taking turns to hold our teething, inconsolable baby and consequently feel like someone has worked us over with baseball bats, stuffed us in a sack and then rolled us down the side of the mountain.

An irritating noise keeps entering my world. It is my son, prodding and harassing us in the demanding manner that I can only guess he learned from the cats.
"What?" we hiss, through gritted teeth.
"I want to watch a cartoon."
"M, we are tired and we are sleepy. We have had a hard night. Go away and play with something."
"Play me a cartoon Mummy and Daddy, and then I won't bother and annoy you any longer." Z gets up to comply, and M with a devillish gleam in his eye exclaims: "Now, give me a spicy candy* so I won't yell and wake my sister!" **


Poll #1666877 Prodigal Son

He's so advanced! Next he'll tackle

Larceny
0(0.0%)
Grand Theft Auto
0(0.0%)
Embezzlement
2(16.7%)
Tax Evasion
0(0.0%)
Forgery
3(25.0%)
The creation of his own smuggling ring
5(41.7%)
Other (specify in comments)
2(16.7%)


*Throat lozenges. M's Addiction Number 1 and the main currency of the household.

** Hahahaha, rookie error! I'll have to teach him about not overplaying one's hand.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
dakeyras
Jan. 11th, 2011 05:49 pm (UTC)
Other: All of the above.

He already has experience in hotwiring cars (okay, admittedly to disable them, but that doesn't mean he can't start them as well) so GTA is already there.

I would imagine that the creation of a smuggling ring would also lead to at least one of the others, as there's bound to be embezzlement and larceny involved in laundering the cash.

So - why set the standard so low for such a criminal genius?
casaubon
Jan. 12th, 2011 01:02 pm (UTC)
I comfort him and wipe away his lake of tears and finally ask whether a sweet might make waiting for the pain to pass more bearable.

Rookie error! :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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