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Photography Hostage

A colleague and I wrote an article together, which is being published in a December issue of our profession's magazine, which appears to involve long bouts of waiting and bursts of frenetic activity.

Today's frenetic activity came under heading "Urgently Locate a Publishable Picture of The Self to send to the Editors" and involved some hand-wringing, and hard-drive-rifling - which did not yield a single solitary shot of me not looking some combination of demented, half-naked, double-chinned, or accessorised with either pink bunny ears or at least one of my children.

Never one to accomplish a simple task simply, I then set out trying to take an acceptable picture of myself. Enter weeping and teeth gnashing and tripod wrestling and one-handed self-portraiture which yielded much comedy output of me managing to blind myself with the flash and get photobombed by my own houseplants, but NO MATTER for a result adhering to my own vanity and socially acceptable standards of human behaviour was finally produced.

The journey through the Diabolical Pictures of Nina Through The Years was not without its high points however, as it led me to this gem:

michelin woman

Here I appear to have suffered some sort of atavistic ethnic terror about the dread promaja* and as a result dressed my child in every item of clothing she had. The outstanding result is I think part Tom Sawyer's Aunt Polly, part Michelin woman, part the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland.

*According to Serbian lore, the list of bad ends you will suffer due to exposure to the dreaded draft includes: headache, muscle tension, back pain, bone pain, joint stiffness, meningitis and pneumonia.

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
spoofed
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:05 pm (UTC)
Serbs too? Poles are obsessed with drafts as well! Relatives of Michal's PHONE UP TO COMPLAIN that my sons are not properly bundled up in photos. As for Michal himself, he has variously told me that drafts cause anything from conjunctivitis to death. (I once went outside with wet hair early in our relationship and OMG you'd have thought I was smoking crack in the gutter going by his reaction).
trinity_gal
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:15 pm (UTC)
Haha, and Russians :) Just don't sit on the floor - your ovaries will freeze!
rainsinger
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:31 pm (UTC)
I think you can see this if you log onto flickr.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rainsinger/tags/theo/

I put them as visible to friends but can change the security settings depending on how you feel about it.

x
trinity_gal
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
Looks like I'm not on your contact list there, so can't see any, I'm nastasja on flickr. x
rainsinger
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:45 pm (UTC)
whoops, my bad. added now. x
rainsinger
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC)
Ovaries - the most sensitive organs on earth. Threatened by cold floors, stone, and wet swimsuits unless you change out of them immediately.
trinity_gal
Nov. 2nd, 2010 03:10 pm (UTC)
Haha.

Don't you love Brits for their restraint? At least they wouldn't walk up to specifically point out my son is in throes of SIDS :)
hfnuala
Nov. 2nd, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
In Ireland those threats seem to target your kidneys instead.
biascut
Nov. 2nd, 2010 06:44 pm (UTC)
And in Britain too! I was just thinking how odd the idea of freezing your ovaries was, but as soon as you said kidneys it seemed perfectly logical.
rainsinger
Nov. 2nd, 2010 02:32 pm (UTC)
It's like a national terror. Woe betide you if you attempt to open two opposed windows on a sweltering bus in summer anywhere in the Balkans.
jadedlibertine
Nov. 2nd, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC)
That picture is fantastic!

I think a draft in Serbia/Poland/Russia/anywhere similar may be a bit colder and more serious than a draft in the UK? In winter of course.
rainsinger
Nov. 5th, 2010 05:50 am (UTC)
It's true that we get a very very very cold wind called the Kosava, but fear of drafts goes well beyond that since you probably couldn't keep out the Kosava with triple glazing while the cry and hue will be raised whenever an innocent current of air wafts through a room.
biascut
Nov. 2nd, 2010 06:45 pm (UTC)
(Isn't it draught in British English? i thought it was, but now everyone has said draft I'm confused!)
rainsinger
Nov. 5th, 2010 05:51 am (UTC)
It sounded right when I saw it written, although I think it's one of those words where I have an EnglishFail on account of getting confused between the draught of beer and the drought.
victoriacantons
Nov. 3rd, 2010 10:47 am (UTC)
I thought it was 'draft' rather than 'draught' (the computer doesn't seem to like that 2nd spelling by the way!
Anyway, my mum (now 79) was and still is obsessed with me going outside without enough clothing and as for Emma (my partner in her 40s!) well, dare I risk stepping outside with damp hair?!?! Apparently "Women just don't do that!"

As for the photo... I like :-) but the baby has a slight look of bemusement as to "What on earth have you pulled me into Mummy?!"
rainsinger
Nov. 5th, 2010 05:52 am (UTC)
She is a good natured and long-suffering baby who is coping well with Abuse Via Clothing.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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