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HairDoom since 1987

So all the BlogHer excitement and hype finally got to me and my mindstate shifted from 'Yay! I'm going to be reading!' to "There's going to be a thousand people witnessing the fact that I have terrible hair and this will be recorded on the internet for posterity and For All The World To See Forever, Dear God".

And then after a prolonged faff about Brands in which I read lots of blurbs of people talking about Their Brand and How You Promote Your Blogging Brand, I started to feel more and more inadequate because I'm fairly sure I have no Brand unless you're looking for "People Who Injure Themselves In Ridiculous Ways" (and if you are then step right up because I'm your girl).

Therefore, the only logical solution seemed to be disregard my history of Terrible Hair Karma and go consult a scissor wielding professional to even out my mop and make it sleek. Ahahahahahahahaha That's the sound I imagine that the Universe makes when it laughs. Ahahahahahahahahahha, you poor dumb tool.

I don't know what it is about me that renders me anathema to hairdressers. I thought that hairdressers are meant to be chatty people but around me they simply lapse into a deep and sinister silence and don't so much as ask me about holidays which is probably Official Hairdresser Code for: "We hate you and we want you to suffer".

This latest in Nina's Hairdressing Disasters involved a 2 HOUR HAIRCUT (pretty much 1 hour per inch of hair) in which an OCD hairdresser obsessively snipped and snipped and snipped and even though I couldn't see anything on account of having removed my glasses I had a sinking feeling that it was going to be terrible and my God how right I was.

Somehow instead of a sleek assymetrical bob (shorter in the back, longer in the front) what I ended up with was looking like someone had stuck a bowl on my head and cut around it. Dear Lord it is bad. And the worst thing about this prolonged butchery was that in the end I felt so sorry for the hairdresser who was clearly investing so much effort into the creation of something apalling that in the end when he asked me how I liked it I didn't have the heart to say anything but "It's lovely!"

Does The Poster Child For Bad Haircuts sound like a catchy brand?

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
67threnody
Jul. 12th, 2009 11:13 pm (UTC)
Look on the bright side--you'll get noticed and be memorable! Wear your bowl haircut with style and people will think you did it intentionally, because you are just so cool and ironic like that.
(Anonymous)
Jul. 13th, 2009 12:20 am (UTC)
You prefer library located at main or second floor, not at basement?
offensive_mango
Jul. 13th, 2009 08:56 am (UTC)
JPGS PLZ
meepettemu
Jul. 13th, 2009 09:38 am (UTC)
we need pictures!
amysprite
Jul. 15th, 2009 01:41 pm (UTC)
Hey!
I am so glad you found my blog! (How did you find it?

So, I take it that picture isn't your new haircut, because I think it looked great. I've given one of my sons a bowl haircut (accidentally, I swear!) once and I know just how awful they can be.... Get thee to a new hairdresser for corrections immediately. Bring a photo with you. Read your tarot cards beforehand and wait for auspicious signs before proceeding. :)

I can't believe you are flying over from London to Chicago to read for the conference. That is awesome!! I'm going to have to make it to your speech so I can throw myself at you afterward. Awkward hugs all around!!!

I read your profile and LOVED it. In fact I want to steal some it: I too have problems with my underbelly. And I understand because I'm a cancer! And I used to read tarot cards. And I am into the photography & shiny things, too. It's like we're sisters or something! ;-)

p.s. Sorry this comment is a novel, but I loved yr comment and blogger didn't give me your email address on it.
rainsinger
Jul. 18th, 2009 02:28 am (UTC)
Re: Hey!
Hiya!
I think I found you by following a link in the Tim Gunn post and thought you were awesome even before I learned you were a Cancerian and a tarotist.

I'm reading at the community keynote and I'd welcome awkward hugs like they were martinis of the soul.
amysprite
Jul. 18th, 2009 02:42 am (UTC)
Re: Hey!
I will be running for awkward hugs after your delivery! Congratulations on getting a spot in that--wow. :)

Now I'm going to go comb your archives and see what I can learn. ;)

xoxo and see you soon!

Amy
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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