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Dear England,

You know I am devoted to you and your many quirks. I find them charming! However, on behalf of every delayed journey I had yesterday I realise that the snow was unseasonal but really, get with the program already. Learn to deal. It was only an inch of snow if that.

For goodness sake' Serbia, SERBIA!, manages to year after year cope with all the ice, hail, and deep snow of winter and have public transport that still manages to run frequnetly and regularly, without getting into a tizzy. Therefore I am failed to be conviced that a grown up, developed nation like you England, cannot improve your record and make a plan to prevent transport mayhem breaking loose every single time a leaf or a snowflake(or too much rain; or too much sunshine) falls on the tracks.

I know all this transportational uncertainty was very soothing for the national morale back when the 7th of July bombings happened, because I like most other people commuting that day did not realise until much later that Acts of Terror had occured thinking it was just another regular day of delayed buses and tubes. However, with all due respect England, I do not think you need to keep being quite so protective of us and that we could proabably handle public transport that operates in all weather conditions.

I'd appreciate it if you would give your consideration to the matter.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
casaubon
Oct. 30th, 2008 10:03 am (UTC)
You had an inch of snow!?!
We didn't get a flake. Clearly you should move to the balmy tropics of west London.
spoofed
Oct. 30th, 2008 11:05 am (UTC)
With a Scot for a father and a Pole for a husband I have been hearing variations on this rant pretty much my whole life. I have to agree with you: England goes into panic mode as soon as the weather deviates in the slightest way from 'dull'.
creative__freak
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:30 pm (UTC)
could you add to the above the annoyance at having an entire junction of the M1 closed yestrerday for no apparent reason whatsoever, precipitating a 2.5 hour detour through Derbyshire, which in turn suffered a severe case of "motorway volume traffic trying to fit down a single carriageway B road, in either direction?" syndrome.

Also you forgot the bit about how if you were to be as physically intimate with another Londoner as you are forced to be, at rush hour on the tube, in any location *other than* on the tube, it would be called indecent assault.

I suppose the Italians have it right...they still say "Mussolini made the trains run on time".
spoofed
Oct. 30th, 2008 12:49 pm (UTC)
They do still say it don't they! My brother's best friend has Italian grandparents and it's surprising just how often they mention that "under the fascisti, the trains, they run on time"...
casaubon
Oct. 30th, 2008 03:41 pm (UTC)
The good thing about being a dictator is that if your trains run late, you can retroactively change the timetables and shoot anyone who complains. :)
http://www.snopes.com/history/govern/trains.asp
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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