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the passion of the christians

A while ago in Kilburn, Z and I came upon a scene which thrilled me a great deal. There was a crowd of people on Kilburn High Street, gathered in a semi-circle around a woman with a megaphone and a stumbling man whom I at first took to be a hunchback. Somewhere beyond the people, someone was beating out a rhythm on the drums.

“And Satan comes and binds you! With addictions! And lies! And illusions! And sins! And deceit!” the lady emoted through the megaphone while the man continued hunchbacked-stumbling within the semi-circle. The gathered crowd crowed appreciatively. The drums began to speed up and gather to a crescendo as the megaphone lady shouted: “But Jesus can come and set you free! Cast off his chains, Jesus! Free him from sin! Free him from Devil-Lie!” at which point the hunchbacked man straightened and threw his arms to the sky in the gesture of a man shrugging off bindings. The crowd clapped.

“Jesus he good guy! Jesus he lamb! Jesus he lion! Jesus he save you!” the megaphone lady announced, and I turned to Z with the sort of shine in my eyes that says ‘did you just see that? And why didn’t we get it on camera?’ while he shook his head and half-moaned: “I can’t believe I’ve just witnessed this? Can we please move back to Barnet?” and I was all “Are you kidding me? Because this is the exact reason why I love living in Kilburn.”

Next instalment – scanned pages of the leaflets Jehovah’s Witnesses have delivered unto me on how to have a fulfilling marital life. Also a tip: apparently the way to discourage Testimoniaries of Jehovah from lingering on your doorstep is to greet them clad in only a towel that covers you to mid-thigh while your husband loiters in the background in his boxer shorts. (You may consider these nuggets of streetwise wisdom my little gift to you, oh glorious internets).

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