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The Truth? You can't handle the truth!

The other night during dinner a dropped chickpea fell off the table and rolled across the floor and the kitten bounced on it because ALL MOVING THINGS MUST DIE, and then he proceeded to eat it and lick his little whiskered chops.

So Z and I blinked at each other and promptly began to experiment on the baby, discovering in the process that it lapped up raisins, couscous, olives, courgettes and more chickpeas.

Cat people, what is going on? Is this normal? Is it a phase? Is it teenage rebellion? Should I be investing in brocolli?

Also, the little deviant spends an awful lot of time in the bathroom actually playing with water! Has he no shame?

water water everywhere
Originally uploaded by rainsinger.

And in this week's installment of Living with Sagittarius, or Why Suicide Looks Tempting

The other day my relationship nearly came to tears when Z stuck his great big hairy foot in his great big mouth and tried to explain to me why I look much more appealing with no glasses, after I asked rhetorically why it is that my face looks kind of round and funny in pictures.

Z: It's because of your glasses.
N: Eh?
Z: Well, your glasses really change the shape of your face. Whenever you have them on you look really different. With no glasses you're like - sexy cat! With glasses it's schoolteacher.
N with a touch of frost But you can't even SEE my glasses on most photographs.
Z: I know, but they still change the shape of your face.
Because with glasses your face scrunches up sometimes and you look kind of like a mole. Or a hamster.
N: Stares at him with speechlessness.
Z: But you know it’s not that bad! I mean there are lots of positive things! Like because you’re wearing glasses it’s good for me since people aren’t going to be lusting after you.
N: Attains new levels of shock.
Z: Um, why are you looking at me funny?
N: Because at this moment in time I am debating between breaking up with you and eye surgery.



( 43 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:31 pm (UTC)

Now ask him if your trousers make you look fat. Or has he mastered the proper response to that one?
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:44 pm (UTC)
Hahahhaha, I believe that a man who purchased this shirt of his own volition would have precious little to say on the subject of good trousers ;)

I think his overwhelming desire to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth may be inhibited by seeing me cry copious tears of woundedness.

Nov. 28th, 2005 04:49 pm (UTC)
Oh dear.

It goes well with the gold bedspread. Or sheets, or whatever it was you guys had.
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC)
yes what is it about the shiny fabrics?
mwahahaha, the gold sheets have been evicted to the very dark bottom of the wardrobe where they languish in the dark and probably blind passing spiders.
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:31 pm (UTC)
oo a feline omnivore.
But I like you with glasses :P
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
Re: oo a feline omnivore.
And I like your cleverness, charm and grace :)
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:53 pm (UTC)
oo butter!!
*slips* :D
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC)
Re: oo butter!!
*picks you up and dusts you off and gives you more love because you're an underpaid librarian getting knocked down by cyclists and you deserve it*
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:32 pm (UTC)
Oh ho ho ho. Oh dear. Those naive little Sagitarius boys.

Yes. This is perfectly normal cat behavior!
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:32 pm (UTC)
Yes. This is perfectly normal cat behavior!

Excellent :D
*goes away pondering what other kidns of food we could get the cat to try or whether there would be a market for Catfood - The Vegan Alternative*

Those naive little Sagitarius boys

Yes. Bless. The great big ruddy sheepish oafs.
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:41 pm (UTC)
What a fool. Anyway, schoolteacher equals sexycat.
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:34 pm (UTC)
you sir, will go far

and i've just remembered him saying he fancied his schoolteacher, the hypocrite!
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC)
"Z: But you know it’s not that bad! I mean there are lots of positive things! Like because you’re wearing glasses it’s good for me since people aren’t going to be lusting after you."
Oh, I love that bit. That's fabulous.

Hello, by the way. I love your updates :)
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, I love that bit. That's fabulous.

Innit just. :) Bless.

I love your updates :)

Thank you :)
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:45 pm (UTC)
nekkid truth FM
hahaha, sounds about right from a sagi-TWIT-tius. I'm amused to study the difference between (your) Sagittarian mate and (my) Aquarian mate. With Sagi the observation seems to slip out like an unintentionally loud fart. Aquarius, however, makes a point of saying things because they are true. Rather than backtrack though, if you point out the rudeness, they then push it, enjoying your reaction. Another thing they do is take away the last good thing from the comment - its innocence, and turn it into something perverted.

I wouldn't get upset though because although it may be true, and with Sagi, I'm sorry to say that it probably is (love you though :-) ), it's said in a nice way, there's no nastiness. And that's what makes all the difference. It's far better that they see you as you are, and love you anyway rather than walk around with Libran "she's so flawless" goggles that become very annoying after a while. Because no-one is flawless and they would be loving a lie. As opposed to loving you.
I'd forgive him. He should stop trying to backtrack though, cos he sucks at it! That's where he falls down. He should stand by his statements and not try to explain them. ;-)
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)
Re: nekkid truth FM
I did forgive him after I looked crestfallen and he looked wretched and sheepish {kind of like if Taurus had been at a dance and broken everybody's toes}. And you're right - there is no malicious intention there, and trying to dig his way out just causes his grave to open up all the faster. :)

And I know you will admire the enermous self-restraint I had to exercise over my inner Scorpio not to lash out at him with something poignant and biting.
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:45 pm (UTC)
> after I asked rhetorically why it is that my face looks kind of round and funny in pictures

This is why, before any of us have ever even begun to date, men should be taken on obstacle course training.
"Your girlfriend has asked what appears to be a question about her looks or her figure. What's the drill?"

"Evacuate! Evacuate!"

"Not good enough. If she suspects you're ducking the question this will raise further self-esteem issues. What do you do?"

"Set yourself on fire and make it look like an accident, SIR!"

"Very good. Successfully causes a diversion and allows her to feel nurturing. Tomorrow: why we NEVER compare her with her mother."
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:48 pm (UTC)
:D :D
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
Brilliant, yet useful
*laughs outloud and makes all the other people in the office look scared*

Nov. 28th, 2005 04:54 pm (UTC)
A propos
le chat.

All very normal, especially the playing with water.
I seem to recall that cats are selective eaters, so you might want to be careful what food you give her because if she develops a liking for it she might suddenly turn her nose up at everything else and refuse to eat nothing but that!

At least that's from what I recall. Having to feed my uncle's cat lovely meat from the butcher's because she became used to it. Unlike dogs whom you can throw anything at.


Nov. 28th, 2005 05:42 pm (UTC)
Re: A propos
*begins to think about all the implications of a cat addicted to cucumber sandwiches*
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:57 pm (UTC)
So what would you imagine the result of a union between a Virgo and a Libra to be (as in, how will they interact with each other)? I'm wondering if Jon and I fit the mold.
Nov. 28th, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
lots of talking?


Nov. 28th, 2005 05:30 pm (UTC)
Lots would depend on the rest of your charts, but some typical Virgoan and Libran traits are as follows:

Virgos have the tendency to be picky and quite critical (can be accused on focusing too much on details, and constantly trying to improve stuff/people) while Librans on the whole can have a very hard time making decisions or knowing where they stand/what they want because they are spending an awful lot of time trying to create harmony between different things/people/points of view.

Librans often have 'relationship rules' worked out - a code of ethics about how to get on with your partner in the most harmonious way - and it's not so much about emotion but about reason and principles of good comportment.

Librans appreciate beauty and charm and their rallying cry is "Let's not be unpleasant", while Virgos are more about "How can I help/improve you/me/stuff". Librans can be terribly romantic, which is nice, and partnership/relationship is awfully important to them. Virgoan discrimination goes well with Libra's longing for good taste, and Virgoan practicality makes a useful counterpoint to Libran airheadedness and lofty thoughts about ideals.

That's the nicer part - they can also be awfully irritating to one another (as can all human beings) when Virgo gets frustrated by Libra and becomes very critical and Libra responds by developing selective listening and clinging on to their ideals of what relationships should be rather than what they actually are.
Nov. 28th, 2005 05:42 pm (UTC)
*spits Coke all over the monitor*

You might not update often, but the times you do are gems. I think he meant well, he just got his words tangled up.

Nov. 28th, 2005 05:44 pm (UTC)
Oh, and cats eat grass and other plant life. There are little indoor plants you can grow indoors (sold at a pet shop) that the cat will eat- be careful with houseplants; some are poisonous.

Nov. 28th, 2005 06:36 pm (UTC)
Awww! Cute cat! Ours isn't so into vegetables but he likes anything that comes from us</u>, whether it's bits of our shoes, cotton buds from the bin, fingernail cuttings or, er, contraceptives. We have become VERY VIGILANT with the whole keeping-the-bathroom-door-closed thing.

And you look WONDERFUL in glasses, don't listen to Z!
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:19 pm (UTC)
Oo, nice icon. Very lovely.

I wouldn't worry too much about the kitten. A lot of cats like sweet food such as vegetables, chocolate or mashed potatoes. Invest in broccoli. It'll provide hours of entertainment, watching your kitten chow down with no shame and much joy. Just watch your fingers if you handfeed him these treats.

And I think you're sexy with glasses. ^__^
Dec. 1st, 2005 04:31 pm (UTC)
*imagines the kitten covered in chocolate*

And I think you're sexy with glasses. ^__^

Thank you :) I think you're sexy in general ;) What have you been up to? How is Uni? I am so behind on LJ I should be excommunicated.

Damn this full time work!

Dec. 1st, 2005 11:27 pm (UTC)
Hm... chocolate-covered kittens. I wonder if that would sell. ^__^ *might have watched a bit too much Charlie & the Chocolate Factory*

Well, you're drop dead gorgeous all the time, but especially sexy when you're peering over the top of your glasses. ^__~
A lot of nothing, mostly. I didn't get into Uni. *shakes fist at bastards*

And yes, damn this full time work. *shakes fist at that too* Someone should just pay you to surf LJ all day long.
Nov. 28th, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)
Yes, let me add to the consensus that this is eminently normal cat behaviour.
I tried to say something to a specs-wearing ex along the lines of how much I liked him without his glasses, because that was the face that only I saw. But he totally didn't get it.
The Boy wears glasses too. Sometimes he looks all cutting edge and retro. Sometimes he just looks like a dirty old tramp who hasn't changed his specs since the Seventies. What're you gonna do?
Nov. 28th, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
But your glasses really suit you - you look welly lovely!

Nov. 30th, 2005 04:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)

Nov. 28th, 2005 09:07 pm (UTC)
Yes. Bless. The great big ruddy sheepish oafs.

Oi!!! I resemble that!. Speaking of us oafs, did you get round to finishing my chart?
Nov. 30th, 2005 04:30 pm (UTC)
Oi!!! I resemble that!.
saggis may be oafs but they are the best natured most loveable oafs around because they really don't take themselves seriously and for such they should be rewarded with gold stars at birth.

Speaking of us oafs, did you get round to finishing my chart?

I have. BUt the state of my hands continues to be so bad that I am really not up to typing a whole lot. However, if you like I can give you my phone number and you can ring me at some mutually convenient time and then I'll go through it with you. How's that?
Nov. 28th, 2005 10:40 pm (UTC)
Our cat loves roast potatoes, and will investigate (if not eat) anything that we drop on the floor.
Nov. 29th, 2005 11:50 am (UTC)
your cat is gorgeous and yeh playing with the water is very normal, as for eating anyhting, dunno mine won't even eat roast chicken but he can hear a tuna tin being opened about half a mile away!

i guess men aren't always known for saying the right thing at the right time
Nov. 29th, 2005 12:35 pm (UTC)

as for the cat, perfectlynormal. Ours (levi) eats courgettes, peas, sweetcorn, rice, pretty much anything.. Doesn't like lemon drizzle cake tho. Loves water, and will also curl up in the litter tray after we've changed it. One day i will get a photo.

I was thinking of (read: missing) you last night.x
Nov. 30th, 2005 04:27 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I haven't tested the cake on the cat yet. Ah, the world of possibilities! (I had a dream though, in which I was outfitting the cat in a series of teeny tiny cute little hats and enjoying the sweet scowling despair on his face).

How are you you sucesful job person you?
Dec. 2nd, 2005 01:29 pm (UTC)
I'm wonderful! I emailed you at yndigoskye :o)
Nov. 29th, 2005 01:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, he does try. At least he hasn't told you you smell all pine-fresh like a toilet. Glad to see you in interworld again! xx
Nov. 30th, 2005 04:25 pm (UTC)
At least he hasn't told you you smell all pine-fresh like a toilet.

True, but I wouldn't put it past him. ;)

Are you up for visits in Lavander Hill, you moving person you?

Dec. 14th, 2005 04:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, this comment just turned up! Yes, very much up for visits. You can come to our party on Saturday, or you can pop over any time over the Christmas holidays (a full three weeks from today for me!), except for the few days around Christmas when I'll be at my parents'.
( 43 comments — Leave a comment )


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