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Apr. 12th, 2005

Today, at the Keeping Calm training, it was a lot of the New Age-like deep, meaningful stuff. I don't think I've ever been to a self-improvement training that didn't feel a bit like Oprah, and to top it off we got given questionnaires to fill in.

So in answer to 4. What action can you include into your daily life to improve your quality of life? I wrote:
Masturbation

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This morning, Z explaining the badge on his shirt-
Z: Oh, that's for breast cancer. There was someone going around at work collecting for breast cancer research so I said Save the Breasts! and gave them money and they gave me a badge.

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And with thanks to offensive_mango for the reminder, here are the answers to the Agony Aunt meme [apologies that they're so late, I got side tracked with one of the answers and forgot to type them up. I am a Bad Aunt]:

Dear Lollipop: No it is not wrong to pretend to be busy at work when underscheduled. It is a good life skill and it shows a valuable use of your time, especially if you spend it on LJ. Complaining of being underscheduled to your manager shows you are a moral person, and they don't heed you at their own risk. Therefore, pretend away.

Dear Mr. Big: Although I'm flattered that you think of me so highly, the answer is No. However, this does not prevent you from taking the matter into your own hands [so to speak] as contrary to folk wisdom I assure you that performing sexual acts upon yourself will not make you blind.

Dear Confused The mother of your ex may have a point, but she is not the one in the relationship. I think it is wise to be clear on why it is that she thinks you meeting your ex would be a bad notion and keep her point in mind if there is one. Ultimately though, you are both grown ups and you can make your own decisions [even if those decisions turn out to be wrong] and her mother should respect that. People outside of any relationship can give insight and advice but it is up to the people in the relationship to decide what to do with that.

Dear Starcrossed : Well your upcoming months are going to be buzzing with astrological activity. At least a part of it should be very enjoyable, as you are having a once-every-twelve years cycle of Jupiter coming to conjunct your Sun. For the next few months Jupiter will be travelling through your fifth house, conjuncting your Pluto, Venus, Sun, Mars and Uranus. Your social life and creativity will really be buzzing, and this is an excellent time to think of new projects and ways of growing, looking at your creativity and perhaps options for higher education. At the very least, during Jupiter transits you are likely to on the whole, feel good and be suffused with a sense of optimism and well-being.

However, be warned that not all is straightforward. Jupiter transits can inflate your sense of what you can accomplish, and it is important to try and keep a sense of perspective and realism and not overextend yourself or gamble simply because *you feel lucky*
Furthermore although the conjunction of Uranus and Jupiter signifies a change in fortune and a restlessness/longing for freedom, and tends to be a very exciting time it may equally well bring instability and inability to focus on its shadow side.

These bring many and varied influences, but other they are also occurring in connection to less pleasant feeling transits in your chart. Your Saturn Return cautions and encourages you to re-assess that which is of value in your life, and re-examine the structures you have built. It invites you to consider the foundations of your life and that which is worthwhile to you. It offers an opportunity for razing to the ground that which no longer works and building in its place something lasting that does.

A process likely to be hindered by Neptune conjunct your MC, bringing a seeking of and confusion about your path in life, during this time you are likely to feel very clouded and unclear about your direction and your vocation. However, this is an excellent time to search, as Jupiter transits allow the expanding of your social circle and horizons.

and over the next few days Sun coming in to conjunct Chiron forecasts a particular vulnerability, sensitivity or awareness of some painful incident cropping up in your consciousness. Chiron reminds us of our wounds and if we own and process that awareness and understanding instead of withdrawing from it it allows you to reach a new level of healing and strength. Although certainly not an easy process, it is an important and valuable one.

Dear Gracie: I think the subtle approach works as long as it's not an important issue, at which point it is best to come out and say it directly in a non-confrontational way. Does he know that you've changed your mind, and that marriage is important to you now? In having asked someone to the prom, and now wanting to be asked for your hand in marriage it sounds like it's an issue a bit of security and self-worth, feeling valued and wanted. But ultimately I think this might be doing yourself a disservice in the long run because it seems like a loaded and a tangled issue and it's probably better to break it down into component parts and look at the underlying attitudes and beliefs.

1) Wanting to get married - it is fine to change your mind, and to recognise it but it's also important to look at why you changed your mind. Marriage is a symbolic act that means different things to different people and it's important to look at what it means to you.

2) In one way of looking at it, who does the asking seems arbitrary. Traditionally it is the male, but I've known quite a lot of women who took the initiative and I think the key thing is that the man in question agreed and they hopefully went on to have healthy, happy unions. There is nothing wrong with doing the asking yourself, rather it means being aware of your own power and choices and not having to passively wait for someone else to make the first important step, and usually becoming more and more resentful during the wait.

3) THere is nothing wrong with wanting to be asked [just as there is no shame, and no stigma in asking]. As long as you are aware of the fact that you might be in for a wait and that resentment about that which is unspoken can become a major point of contention between you. It's useful to think about why you want to be asked, if it's a value symbol - ie. if he asks me to marry him then it means that i'm loved and loveable and desired and important to him, then can you think of a way that these things may be being demonstrated in your relationship already?

4) Your boyfriend may not realise how important this is to you, or that you've changed your mind. I'd say subtle hints are for minor issues and this doesn't sound minor. I think it is better to have conversations, compare where you stand on the issue, explain that it's important to you, ascertain what's important to him and see where you go from there.

Good luck.

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