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I appear to have gone on an all day date.
Breakfast, lunch, movie, hypothermia.
And I had the funniest first kiss ever.
We were sitting in his car and leaned in towards each other to kiss, and he accidentally pressed the gas pedal and the car leapt into life.
It kind of killed the moment a little because I was doubled over laughing too hard.

It amuses me that when I saw him a couple of weeks back I thought *oh, I think I've met my next boyfriend*, and I've been trying not to think too much about it in case it was all in my head. It turns out I was right, and I don't know him well yet, but there are many things I like about this man, not the least of which is that he has his own flat and no family.

He is (as far as I've seen) a considerate and gentle human being. He has a terrific sense of humour, and the optimism I find endearing. He is laid back and doesn't seem to hold grudges. He makes me laugh and he doesn't mind my teasing. He is self-contained, and not pushy, and independent - all the things I like greatly in a man. Someone who stands on his own two feet and will not need me.
And I still appear to be holding true to my pattern of getting it on with Saggittarians.

It's all the very beginnings of things though, so no knowing how it will go, and I'm cautiously optimistic. There are many hurdles still to cross, such as sleeping together and seeing how easily we flow together in bed, but most of all it's the stuff in my head.

That here I am, for the first time in forever, dating a MAN! (*gasp of shock*) who lives in the same city and country as me, and who is not someone who I can just run from. There are a lot of things about me that he doesn't know, and that I probably will never tell him because it doesn't feel safe to share them with Yugs (as sooner or later all Yugs are connected, and I don't trust them with my secrets) and I feel really scared. Freaking out actually. Reaching for brown paper bags kind of thing.
So I'm trying to tell myself to calm it down.
Take things one step at a time.

And in the midst of all this, I'm laughing at myself as how I've told several friends recently that I want to be in a relationship, a proper long-term one, just as my next challenge to see if I can do it, and now here there's a potential for that and all I'm thinking is *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Me and my BIG mouth*.

But well.
Deep breating and crossing of fingers. ANd probably lots of writing in the coming future.

And on another note Enduring Love is an excellent film.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
actually_not
Dec. 28th, 2004 10:25 pm (UTC)
awwww..that's a lovely christmas present for you. hope it all works out.

(btw i never received a song from you on xmas eve...in case you thought i was being rude and not commenting!)

hope to catch you in MSN sometime in 2005

<):-)
rainsinger
Dec. 28th, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
awwww..that's a lovely christmas present for you. hope it all works out.


Thank you. :)
i keep saying to people that I want it to work or fail on its own terms, and not because I'm too terrified to give things a chance.

(btw i never received a song from you on xmas eve...in case you thought i was being rude and not commenting!)

oh drat. :(
never mind.
I'll send it over msn :)
(Deleted comment)
ultraruby
Dec. 28th, 2004 11:26 pm (UTC)
Awww! This was lovely to read. I wish you all the best.
rainsinger
Dec. 29th, 2004 02:27 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Your moths remain one of the most beautiful LJ icons i've ever seen.
smallblakflower
Dec. 29th, 2004 01:18 am (UTC)
Deep breating
is that similar to bleating?...!

seriously though, i'm very excited for you!
rainsinger
Dec. 29th, 2004 02:27 pm (UTC)
is that similar to bleating?...!


probably similar state of mind. ;)

thankee :D
martylog
Dec. 29th, 2004 12:28 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm also in a Beginning Of Things situation at the mo, and jolly exciting it is, too, isn't it! Fingers crossed for us!
mzdt
Dec. 29th, 2004 02:00 pm (UTC)
yes - see if you can avoid any 'Oh, Martin!' situations, both of you (although 'Oh, Nina!' sounds like more of a musical than a sitcom to me...)
rainsinger
Dec. 29th, 2004 02:28 pm (UTC)
Oh Nina the Musical
I think the fact that Z has an excellent sense of humour and readily sees the funny side of things may well be the saving grace of the relationship. ;)
miss_newham
Dec. 29th, 2004 06:46 pm (UTC)
Is it with that nice lady? I am slightly jealous of everyone who's doing that brand new sparkly-eyed thing, but mostly full of good wishes. Go forth and be adorable!
rainsinger
Dec. 29th, 2004 08:27 pm (UTC)
I have no idea of which nice lady (obviously much gossip I'm missing!) but I wish you well :D
martylog
Dec. 30th, 2004 09:51 am (UTC)
It is indeed with that nice lady!
miss_newham
Dec. 30th, 2004 10:22 am (UTC)
What larks!
miss_newham
Dec. 29th, 2004 06:48 pm (UTC)
Yay you! And a childish "Will you still want to hang out with us now?". And then another yay, for you deserve to be proved wrong about December being a miserable month. Have I met him? Ooh!
miss_newham
Dec. 29th, 2004 06:49 pm (UTC)
I have just spotted that his name begins with Z, so I suspect I have... Sorry, I'll shut up now!
rainsinger
Dec. 29th, 2004 08:26 pm (UTC)
Yes, you met him at the pub. :)

And of course I'll still want to hang out with you! I like you a great deal, and I'm a person who likes to be independent and have a varied social life that doesn't stop just because I'm with someone. :)
dubaiyan
Dec. 30th, 2004 01:36 am (UTC)
childish?
heh, glad i'm not the only one who thinks that Ditto the yay!
saucebook
Dec. 31st, 2004 05:31 pm (UTC)
hearty congratulations. fingers crossed for you too. and I have to agree - enduring love is a grand film (and allegedly a passable way of life)
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )

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